Few good things might come out of this disaster

A lot has changed in just one month. At the snap of a finger, we have been forced to change how we do things, things that have been ingrained in us from birth.

Last week, someone that had been a close family friend while we were growing up passed away. His death was a big blow to his children because a mere two years ago, they lost their mother.

Back then, we went for the normal night vigils to condole with the family, where I helped serve tea and food to the mourners who kept trickling in.

And on the day of the burial, which was attended by hundreds of people since she had been a well-liked woman, my family was there.

This time though, only one of us, my father, attended the day vigil, (there was no night vigil due to the curfew) but not for long since he had to make way for others who wanted to condole with the family.

Due to the government directive dictating the number of people that can attend a burial, and how it should be conducted, we did not attend this popular man’s burial, which was a short family affair. How things have changed!

Funerals trump weddings in their importance. You could get away with not attending a relative or friend’s wedding, but not a funeral.

FAR-REACHING CHANGES

It would be a major faux pas, one that someone could begrudge you for years.

Saying this final goodbye is also important because it prods us to accept the reality of the loved one’s death, mourn them, pay our last respects and start the journey towards healing.

The burial process is also an opportunity for mourners to support those left behind through their presence, an encouraging word or hug or like many of us do, cook for them and clean their space.

Well, this pandemic we are fighting has denied us all this. Because of coronavirus, we cannot properly mourn those that leave us behind since our movement is restricted and congregating would only beckon the virus we’re hiding from behind our closed doors.

But something good might just come out of this — I have a feeling that many of us will repair our relationships and start paying attention to those that we have neglected over the years just in case we are unable to bid them the final goodbye when their time comes.

The crisis we are in is showing us just how fragile life is and revealing to us what matters most.

Before this virus came along and turned our lives upside down, I was always in a hurry going somewhere.

FAMILY TIME

All my Saturdays were packed to the brim — if I was not meeting a friend, I was rushing to a chama meeting after first going to the market to shop for the week, and if it wasn’t a chama meeting, it was a family get-together, and if not, I either had visitors coming over or daylong errands.

I simply had no time to sit and reflect or simply sit and do nothing. Now that my Saturdays are spent indoors, I find that I have more time for my family and time to call people who matter to me.

I have also realised that life need not be an emergency, and that all those engagements that I thought were crucial aren’t because life goes on without them.

Spending time at home is also relaxing and devoid of the constant pressure we are always in to do something or be somewhere.

There’s one thing I’m sure of, when we beat this pandemic, because we will, a lot will change about how we live our lives, about what and who we value.

For those that are using this time to reflect on their lives, this change will be the beginning of an even more fulfilling life.

The writer is Editor, Society & Magazines, Daily Nation; [email protected]; @cnjerius