MWALIMU ANDREW: Grand home welcome for Fiolina

If you can remember, a few weeks ago, my family got some great news: Fiolina, the lovely laugh of my envious life, became expectant. You also know that this happened when Fiolina was far away in town, a result of my frequent, well timed, action-packed but strategic visits.

The news was received well by friends of development in Mwisho wa Lami but not so well by enemies of development who have always said “Dre will never have a baby.” This latter group, kept saying that if indeed Fiolina was expectant, she must be carrying another man’s baby. But I didn’t care about them.

When Fiolina called me last Monday saying that she will travel home as soon as schools close, I looked forward to welcoming her home. My plan was to quietly go there and travel back with her. But we seem to have made a mistake. We informed Caro, my sister and Mwisho wa Lami’s self-appointed Minister for Information and Broadcasting. Everyone who cared to know got the news.

That is why last Sunday, my mother asked to see me. That is what I like with my mum. Rather than call me and insist that she wants to see me, she asks in advance. Quite the opposite of someone you know that I will not mention, who believes that whenever he calls me, I should always abandon whatever I am doing for his sake.

“I hear my daughter is coming back this week,” she said.

“Yes, I will go pick her. Is there a problem with that?” I asked after she looked at me with expectations.

“There is no problem, son,” said my mother. “However, this is not just a normal coming back home.” She went on: “Fiolina left here alone and is now coming back with blessings in her womb, we must welcome her in style.” I told her I did not think that was necessary.

UNECCESARY ATTENTION

“I don’t want us to attract unnecessary attention,” I said.

“We will not be attracting  undue attention,” she said. “You just give me money, and tell me when you will arrive, leave the rest to me.” To cut a long story short, I gave my mother some money.

I arrived in town on Thursday. I was happy to see that Fiolina was now used to vomiting every morning – she looked strong and bubbly. To those waiting to hear whether we slept early or late, I will today disappoint you.

Friday morning my mother called asking what time we would arrive. “Please let me know as soon as you alight from Msamaria Mwema at the stage,” she said after I told her we would arrive at around mid-day. This was  followed by an SMS every other 20 minutes finding out where we had reached. I ignored all of them.

But I was a good boy, for I informed her once we alighted. I wanted to take a boda boda for Fiolina but she refused.

“A boda boda almost fell me down the other day, so let me walk,” she said. We briskly walked home. Everyone congratulated us excitedly.

Our home had many visitors. The women in the same chama with my mother, as well Thoag’s choir members. For the new ones here, Thoag stands for The Holiest Of All Ghosts. They broke into song and dance as soon as we approached the gate. Mwana wa amberi beyaye, rent the air as we walked to my parents’ house.

Lunch was ready. Ugali and matumbo. After lunch, I tried to leave to go check something from my house but I was warned not to step into the house. A few minutes later, Apostle Revered Elkana, the spiritual superintendent of Thoag Tabernacle Assembly, arrived. He led everyone into a powerful and loud prayer. He was so loud that I have no doubt God heard it from wherever he was.

It was time to move to our house. That was around 2.30pm. We had to walk together holding hands, just like we did on our wedding day, with Apostle Elkana giving directions, as the choir sang behind us.

Our door had been closed and tied with a leso. When we arrived at the door, Elkana led us in another long prayer, then asked Fiolina to open the door.

“We want to welcome the baby to their house with God’s blessings,” said Elkana. Fiolina untied the leso and we entered the house. Inside the house, in the sitting room, were a few gifts on the table: one chicken, bananas, ground nuts among others. We sat and Apostle Elkana led us in another long prayer. He then encouraged us to multiply. He left shortly after the sermon.

Once he was gone, the women gave us their word of advice on how to nurture the pregnancy to fruition. I was severally told that I should support Fiolina in everything and should not let her do any heavy work. “Always be near her and don’t let her cook every day,” said Anindo, Nyayo’s wife.

“If you can’t do the job like cooking and washing utensils, please employ a maid,” said Lutta’s wife. When I said that teachers didn’t have money for that she reminded me that her parents employed a house help for her. I was then asked to leave as they wanted to talk women things. I wanted to go to Hitler’s but decided not to, so I stayed around.

My mother later came out and asked me to see her in her house. She was very happy.

ALREADY OLD NEWS

“Congratulations,” she said, as if she had heard the news for the first time. I told her that it was already old news.

“We weren’t sure that it was your baby but we have inspected and confirmed it is your baby,” she said.

“What do you mean you have checked? How did you know?” I asked her.

“We are women, we know these things. You can never understand,” she said as she smiled. She also told me that Fiolina was carrying a baby girl. I was very happy. He may not be my son, but some of Brandon’s bad habits made me pray to God for a girl. And God was answering these prayers.

“Promise me you will name her after me,” said my mother.

Although I had not discussed this with Fiolina, I agreed to name her after my mother. She then said that the women who had come to the ceremony needed to be given something small.

“They can’t go home empty handed, otherwise you won’t be blessing your daughter. I only had Sh400 which she took, added some of her money and gave them.

Late that evening, Apostle Elkana passed by my house to. Elkana is always in a hurry but he did not seem to be in any hurry that day. He sat as if he was expecting me to tell him something. A friend of Fiolina was visiting and so we were engrossed in stories.Unable to wait anymore, he called me outside.

Looking at his face, I did not need a calculator to know what he wanted. “I have given my blessings to you, your wife and your baby,” he said. “It is good to bless a man of God when has blessed you.” I told him I had no money but we agreed that I will send him something.

That evening, although we were in the same bed, Fiolina sent me an SMS: “Dear Hubby. Thank you for organising for me a bridal shorwer. That was a shock.”