MEN&WOMEN: Here is what makes us unattractive to others

You’ll quickly lose friends if you constantly pick fights with your companions. ILLUSTRATION | IGAH

What you need to know:

  • You won’t be popular if you always have to be better than everyone else.
  • So let your friends have their moment in the sun, and resist the temptation to cap any of their achievements by talking about one of yours.
  • You’ll quickly lose friends if you constantly pick fights with your companions.

We all want to feel we’re attractive. So we try to dress well, and take care of things like personal hygiene. But people are also sensitive to your unconscious attitudes and habits. And these can easily turn you into someone that no one wants to be with. So if you want to grow your circle of friends, start by thinking about yours!

Like people won’t like being with you if you’re self-absorbed. Only talking about yourself or your concerns, and not interested in what others have to say.

We’re all impressed by physical beauty, but if you focus too much on your appearance, or seem to only want to hang out with the “beautiful people”, then you won’t ever have many real friends.

You won’t be popular if you always have to be better than everyone else. So let your friends have their moment in the sun, and resist the temptation to cap any of their achievements by talking about one of yours.

You’ll quickly lose friends if you constantly pick fights with your companions. Your mates are not your enemies. They’re your allies.

Acting as if you think you’re the only one that matters is highly unattractive. As is always needing to be in charge, or the one who decides what you’re all doing. In a group of friends, everyone should be on a level playing field.

ATTITUDE

People won’t want to be around you if you’re often dishonest. Or frequently impolite, or constantly embarrassing your friends with insulting, sarcastic or snide comments.

Or if you’re unreliable, and never around when your friends need you. Or if you’re always calling for help from others, yet never offering your support when they need it.

Or you’re always negative. Pessimism’s a hugely unappealing quality. If you’re constantly putting people or things down, or seeing them in a negative light, try instead to focus on their positive aspects — at least initially!

Men especially need to pay attention to their general attitude. Those who’re mean or moody are rarely liked.

Women will often turn down a second date with a man who has bad table manners, because that suggests you’re inconsiderate or a slob in other ways. Bad grammar’s also unattractive! Try reading your online dating profile out loud, and it may explain why you get so few likes.

Women are attracted to creative men. And to a sense of humour. Because both are strong indicators of someone who would make a good long-term partner. But they’re put off by laziness, cowardice and pickiness. And by backhanded compliments. Or running your mouth off about stuff you really know nothing about.

Women need to be especially careful about negativity, nagging and neediness. Being catty or critical, moaning about an ex, or having no life of their own.

So if your social life’s a bit flaky, and you’ve few really close friends, spend a little time thinking about your attitudes and habits. You’ll be glad you did.

 

mynyumbani.com