How babies kitty became stillborn

If you have a keen interest in national current affairs, and have been closely following matters beyond your village, then you know of a few things that have been happening in Mwisho wa Lami Village. ILLUSTRATION| JOHN NYAGAH

What you need to know:

  • While it is possible that their pregnancies were coincidental, I can tell you for a fact that the timing was not coincidental – it was clearly deliberate.
  • Ruth and Lena last came to school late last term, and the next time they will be seen will be in February 2018, during which they will not do much; then go for April Holidays.
  • So we expect them fully at work in May next year.
  • As for the rest of the ladies, we have had to forget all about them until September 2018!

If you have a keen interest in national current affairs, and have been closely following matters beyond your village, then you know of a few things that have been happening in Mwisho wa Lami Village, particularly Mwisho wa Lami Primary School. As such, you will not need to be told that either by design or coincidence, several of our female colleagues, together with their husbands (or boyfriends), this year, remembered the words of Genesis 1:28 – that they needed to multiply. And not long after, their intention to multiply the world could no longer be hidden.

As you already know, Madam Ruth went on maternity leave, while Lena is away on bedrest – although she has been seen roaming around the market a few times. Mrs Atika and Sella will proceed on leave toward the end of this term. 

While it is possible that their pregnancies were coincidental, I can tell you for a fact that the timing was not coincidental – it was clearly deliberate. Ruth and Lena last came to school late last term, and the next time they will be seen will be in February 2018, during which they will not do much; then go for April Holidays. So we expect them fully at work in May next year. As for the rest of the ladies, we have had to forget all about them until September 2018!

As you would expect, the stories about pregnancies have been top of discussions in the staffroom. Last Monday, after successful staff meeting, Bensouda asked for AOBs.

Sella raised her hand and thanked all the teachers for surprising her the previous day.

“That baby shower was just the bomb,” she said. ‘Everything was just beautiful: the venue, the event, the songs, the gifts. I cried tears of joy.”

“We are happy you were happy,” said Bensouda. “And my apologies, I couldn’t stay longer as I had another engagement at the same time”.

“I perfectly understood,” Sella said.

 “What is a Baby Shower?” Saphire asked. All the ladies laughed.

“You will never understand Saphire,” said Madam Mary, who organised the event. “This is a ladies thing where we celebrate with a close friend who is expectant and buy them gifts for the new baby.”

“Oh ok, then why are we discussing ladies things in an official staff meeting?” he wondered. “You can discuss that later on during your break.”

“I know it looks like a women affair but it is not,” said Bensouda. “I consider the personal affairs of my staff members outside the school just as important.”

“And in Sella’s Shower, even Fiolina, Dre’s wife was in attendance,” said Nzomo. “Saphire had you been married, I am sure your wife would have been there as well.”

Nzomo had touched a raw nerve. You can joke with Saphire on any matter, but not marriage.

“And who told you that?” he asked, seriously. “Do I look like one who can participate in useless women things?”“I didn’t mean that but surely Saphire, what is the problem? You just can’t face a lady – any lady – and convince her to follow you?”

“Please respect me you small girl, I am not your agemate,” he said, matter-of-factly.

“And by the way Kuya, it was good to see you at Sella’s place,” said Bensouda, ignoring Saphire. “Although men do not attend such things – Nzomo you didn’t tell him?”

Nzomo just laughed. “He loves me and he is always with me. Personally I didn’t see any problem with him attending.”

“Hata kama,” said Madam Mary. “If he loves you he should just have brought you and left, then come for you later on. But he doesn’t have a car or motorcycle, so what bringing was he doing?”

“Mary wacha watu wapendane,” said Sella. “If your hubby doesn’t do that to you, don’t catch feelings.”

“That’s not envy,” she retorted. “Kuya should be a real man, not following his girlfriend everywhere as if he is her bag!”

She went on: “Do you know he messed Nzomo’s Baby shower? We were to go see her last week but instead of Kuya keeping the secret, he went and told her forcing us to change plans.”

“I did not do anything wrong,” said Kuya. “I was just alerting her. How would she have known that she needed to prepare food for the guests?” the ladies laughed and told him to keep off women affairs?

All along Mrs Atika had been quiet. She never said a thing yet this was a women affair.

“Talking of babies, when will we visit Madam Ruth’s baby?” asked Madam Mary. “We used to have a good tradition of visiting newly borns, I don’t now what happened to it.”

“That will be great,” said Bensouda. “Please let me know when you are visiting her so that I can join, or if you need any support from me.”

“But if I remember well Mary, you were in charge of the new babies kitty,” I said. I remember us visiting Madam Anita’s acting last born.”

“Things went down when there was a babies drought here, but we seem very active now,” she added. That day Mary was tasked to work out on a babies kitty budget and share with us the next day

She reported last Wednesday, asking everyone to contribute Sh500 per visit. “We have one baby and are expecting 6 more including Dre’s,” she said. “The good thing is that they all don’t happen at the same time so you can give as the babies arrive.”

“For Nzomo’s baby we will give Sh1,000 since the father and mother are in this staffroom and they both will give Sh500 for all others,” added Mary.

Erick protested having to contribute twice for Nzomo and Kuya’s baby. “Are we contributing for the baby or parents?” he asked. “What if they are twins?” When Mary insisted that we have to pay twice for Nzomo’s baby, Erick pulled out. “After all no one came to see my baby last year,” he said.

“Keep me off those things,” said Saphire. “I have contributed money for babies here but I have never been visited and I don’t see anyone ever visiting to see my baby so I won’t throw any good money after bad.” Next to pull out was Mrs Atika, who had not said anything on a matter we considered feminine. Mrs Atika is very secretive about her home and family.

“I have no problems with the kitty or amount, but I don’t want anyone visiting my home,” she said. “The last time teachers visited me, my house became the centre of discussion in this staffroom for one month! Let me live my life.”

And with three teachers out, the babies kitty collapsed – even before it began!

***

CHAK TALK: There has been varied opinions over the decision by the Supreme Court to call for a fresh presidential election. I want to make it unequivocally clear that I fully support the court decision. I was also happy to hear that the Chief Justice said that should the repeat election have similar problems, the Supreme Court will, yet again, order for fresh elections. My reasons are however different.

I don’t know for sure if there was any rigging or not. All I know is that repeat elections mean more money for me and other teachers. We are always ready to serve as election officials, and our prayer is that most of the other candidates who went to court also win their cases so that we teachers can make money from multiple by-elections.

 

[email protected]/mwisho-walami

How babies kitty became stillborn

 

 

 

If you have a keen interest in national current affairs, and have been closely following matters beyond your village, then you know of a few things that have been happening in Mwisho wa Lami Village, particularly Mwisho wa Lami Primary School. As such, you will not need to be told that either by design or coincidence, several of our female colleagues, together with their husbands (or boyfriends), this year, remembered the words of Genesis 1:28 – that they needed to multiply. And not long after, their intention to multiply the world could no longer be hidden.

As you already know, Madam Ruth went on maternity leave, while Lena is away on bedrest – although she has been seen roaming around the market a few times. Mrs Atika and Sella will proceed on leave toward the end of this term. 

While it is possible that their pregnancies were coincidental, I can tell you for a fact that the timing was not coincidental – it was clearly deliberate. Ruth and Lena last came to school late last term, and the next time they will be seen will be in February 2018, during which they will not do much; then go for April Holidays. So we expect them fully at work in May next year. As for the rest of the ladies, we have had to forget all about them until September 2018!

As you would expect, the stories about pregnancies have been top of discussions in the staffroom. Last Monday, after successful staff meeting, Bensouda asked for AOBs.

Sella raised her hand and thanked all the teachers for surprising her the previous day.

“That baby shower was just the bomb,” she said. ‘Everything was just beautiful: the venue, the event, the songs, the gifts. I cried tears of joy.”

“We are happy you were happy,” said Bensouda. “And my apologies, I couldn’t stay longer as I had another engagement at the same time”.

“I perfectly understood,” Sella said.

 “What is a Baby Shower?” Saphire asked. All the ladies laughed.

“You will never understand Saphire,” said Madam Mary, who organised the event. “This is a ladies thing where we celebrate with a close friend who is expectant and buy them gifts for the new baby.”

“Oh ok, then why are we discussing ladies things in an official staff meeting?” he wondered. “You can discuss that later on during your break.”

“I know it looks like a women affair but it is not,” said Bensouda. “I consider the personal affairs of my staff members outside the school just as important.”

“And in Sella’s Shower, even Fiolina, Dre’s wife was in attendance,” said Nzomo. “Saphire had you been married, I am sure your wife would have been there as well.”

Nzomo had touched a raw nerve. You can joke with Saphire on any matter, but not marriage.

“And who told you that?” he asked, seriously. “Do I look like one who can participate in useless women things?”“I didn’t mean that but surely Saphire, what is the problem? You just can’t face a lady – any lady – and convince her to follow you?”

“Please respect me you small girl, I am not your agemate,” he said, matter-of-factly.

“And by the way Kuya, it was good to see you at Sella’s place,” said Bensouda, ignoring Saphire. “Although men do not attend such things – Nzomo you didn’t tell him?”

Nzomo just laughed. “He loves me and he is always with me. Personally I didn’t see any problem with him attending.”

“Hata kama,” said Madam Mary. “If he loves you he should just have brought you and left, then come for you later on. But he doesn’t have a car or motorcycle, so what bringing was he doing?”

“Mary wacha watu wapendane,” said Sella. “If your hubby doesn’t do that to you, don’t catch feelings.”

“That’s not envy,” she retorted. “Kuya should be a real man, not following his girlfriend everywhere as if he is her bag!”

She went on: “Do you know he messed Nzomo’s Baby shower? We were to go see her last week but instead of Kuya keeping the secret, he went and told her forcing us to change plans.”

“I did not do anything wrong,” said Kuya. “I was just alerting her. How would she have known that she needed to prepare food for the guests?” the ladies laughed and told him to keep off women affairs?

All along Mrs Atika had been quiet. She never said a thing yet this was a women affair.

“Talking of babies, when will we visit Madam Ruth’s baby?” asked Madam Mary. “We used to have a good tradition of visiting newly borns, I don’t now what happened to it.”

“That will be great,” said Bensouda. “Please let me know when you are visiting her so that I can join, or if you need any support from me.”

“But if I remember well Mary, you were in charge of the new babies kitty,” I said. I remember us visiting Madam Anita’s acting last born.”

“Things went down when there was a babies drought here, but we seem very active now,” she added. That day Mary was tasked to work out on a babies kitty budget and share with us the next day

She reported last Wednesday, asking everyone to contribute Sh500 per visit. “We have one baby and are expecting 6 more including Dre’s,” she said. “The good thing is that they all don’t happen at the same time so you can give as the babies arrive.”

“For Nzomo’s baby we will give Sh1,000 since the father and mother are in this staffroom and they both will give Sh500 for all others,” added Mary.

Erick protested having to contribute twice for Nzomo and Kuya’s baby. “Are we contributing for the baby or parents?” he asked. “What if they are twins?” When Mary insisted that we have to pay twice for Nzomo’s baby, Erick pulled out. “After all no one came to see my baby last year,” he said.

“Keep me off those things,” said Saphire. “I have contributed money for babies here but I have never been visited and I don’t see anyone ever visiting to see my baby so I won’t throw any good money after bad.” Next to pull out was Mrs Atika, who had not said anything on a matter we considered feminine. Mrs Atika is very secretive about her home and family.

“I have no problems with the kitty or amount, but I don’t want anyone visiting my home,” she said. “The last time teachers visited me, my house became the centre of discussion in this staffroom for one month! Let me live my life.”

And with three teachers out, the babies kitty collapsed – even before it began!

***

CHAK TALK: There has been varied opinions over the decision by the Supreme Court to call for a fresh presidential election. I want to make it unequivocally clear that I fully support the court decision. I was also happy to hear that the Chief Justice said that should the repeat election have similar problems, the Supreme Court will, yet again, order for fresh elections. My reasons are however different.

I don’t know for sure if there was any rigging or not. All I know is that repeat elections mean more money for me and other teachers. We are always ready to serve as election officials, and our prayer is that most of the other candidates who went to court also win their cases so that we teachers can make money from multiple by-elections.

 

[email protected]/mwisho-walami