You will all remember that Fiolina, the lucky laugh of my envious life, left for her place on the eve of Christmas last year, following a small disagreement that was not serious enough to warrant her leaving.
Upon leaving, she anticipated that I would put together a task force of elders to go see her parents so that we could Build Bridges that will see her return.
Shock on her! Those are things we are not doing in 2020, as resolved in last year Men’s Conference.
I stayed put, and despite needing her both at home and at school, I killed any temptation to even ask her to come back.
Last week Mwisho wa Lami’s Cabinet Secretary for Information, Broadcasting and Communications, my sister Caro, came to see me.
So that she does not miss out on Mwisho wa Lami’s juicy stories, my sister Carol got married not far from our village; she is just in the neighbouring village.
This enables her to come to Mwisho wa Lami practically everyday to pick stories, add some salt, and supply them.
“My brother, why do you want to become a bachelor again?” she asked me when she arrived.
I told her that I was not going to become a bachelor, not under any circumstances. “Fiolina will come back soon,” I said, adding that even if she did not, there were many beautiful women out there who would do anything to get married to me.
Who wouldn’t want to get married to a deputy headmaster, with a palatial, state-of-the-art house in the village, who runs a successful academy, and who is a previous owner of a car?
“You can’t say that!” exclaimed Carol. “Fiolina is such a good woman, you should never think of someone else.”
I was surprised to hear that from Caro, considering that she hasn’t been on talking terms with Fiolina for the last few months.
“I know Fiolina and I haven’t been friends, but I can tell you that she is a good woman. Keep her.”
“I have no problem keeping her,” I said. “But I did not send her away, she went by herself and must return by herself.”
Caro agreed with me, although she added that should I make the decision to reshuffle Fiolina; she had a few people in mind.
And when she said she had a few people in mind, she meant that she had a few people she would not want to see take over Fiolina’s Docket.
“Usijaribu Mama Branton,” she said, referring to Catherine, Branton’s mum. “Huyo ni headmistress atakukalia. Tafuta mtu hana kazi ama mwenye ako na mshahara kidogo.”
I told her not to worry; that I would not stay a bachelor for long, with or without Fiolina returning. Caro’s face changed.
She had that expression that indicated she had such a juicy story that if she did not leave immediately and start broadcasting it, her pressure would shoot.
And she left immediately, but not before telling me. “Bro, what you have told me is between us, I hope you did not tell anyone else. Mimi sipendi fitina.”
That was on Wednesday afternoon, and after lunch, I went to check on affairs at Fiodrelina Pedagogical CBC Academy, Mwisho wa Lami Campus.
With the help of beautiful Rumona, Sandra and another teacher, including Lena’s occasional appearance, the school was running well.
Beautiful Rumona asked to see me when I arrived. She had a major change she wanted to make in the school and needed my approval.
She wanted to change the name of the academy from FioDrelina to Dremona. I asked why, and she said that Dremona sounded sweeter to the ear.
She added that she had discussed the same with my sister Caro who had liked it. I told her that I would think about it.
I went on with my affairs that day and the next day, on Thursday, when I came back home, I was surprised to see all the doors and windows of my house wide open.
All my clothes and beddings were aired out. From far, I could see a lady move things back to the house.
It was not Fiolina, for I can tell Fiolina from miles away. I wondered who that woman could be, so I walked faster home.
Ladies and gentlemen, there was good news when I arrived home, Fiolina was back!
The lady I had been seeing was Electina, Tocla’s eldest daughter. Tocla is Fiolina’s brother, who spends more time at Hitler’s than at any other place.
“Is this a house or a cow shed?” Fiolina asked jokingly when I arrived, as she hugged me.
Those who know us very well will tell you that a hug between us is a rare thing, and the fact that Fiolina hugged me meant that she had missed me.
I would not say if I had missed her or not, for we were not brought up to entertain such thoughts or feelings.
“What can I serve you?” she asked me, still holding my hands. “We have tea ready.”
Indeed, there was tea on the table which we took with her, as Electina arranged things in the house. Fiolina was in great spirits.
She informed me that she had come back with Electina, her niece, who she wanted to enrol at Mwisho wa Lami Primary in Class 7.
“Since I will be very busy with the academy, Electina will help around with small house work, and as teachers, we will help her pass KCPE very well next year,” she said.
She was not seeking my permission regarding us staying with Electina. She was informing me. Fiolina kept me busy the next hour.
I was busy helping her move the beds, and sofa sets in the house. I had planned to go to Hitler’s but before I knew it, it was 8pm.
Maybe I had also missed Fiolina, although it would be scandalous to admit such.
We took supper — sumptuous super of ugali and Omena — then retired to bed shortly after. Needless to say, we slept late. Very late. For obvious reasons.
The next day, my sister Caro came to see me. She was very excited and claimed responsibility for Fiolina’s return.
“I made sure that Fiolina knew that you were planning to marry someone else, and that you had even changed the name of the school from Fiolina to Rumona. Once she heard this, she had to come immediately.”
I did not say a thing, for I didn’t want to give her content to go broadcast.
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