HART: Just build your character ...

If it is success that you are looking for, the way  involves working on your morals and values. ILLUSTRATION| IGAH

What you need to know:

  • Everyone prefers being around optimists. So choose not to be negative, and actively look for the positive aspects of life. Seeking opportunities rather than dwelling on problems.
  • People always remember someone who’s helpful, thoughtful and kind.
  • And they admire ambition. So set yourself challenging goals. Because not only will you achieve more in your own life, you’ll inspire others. And they’ll remember you for that too.

We admire one another for lots of reasons, many of which are pretty much fixed by our genes. Like being tall or intelligent. So you can’t do much about them. Or you might say you like someone’s spontaneity, or their conscientiousness. But again, those are things you can’t really change once you’ve grown up.

So what can you work on that will make you more attractive and successful?

You can improve your character. People often use the word “character” to mean “personality”. But they’re not really the same. Personality’s mostly about the way you think, while your character also involves your morals and values – and you choose those. And you know what? Develop a really good character, and you’ll also succeed in life! And then you’ll be admired for being successful...

So what should you do to build a really great character?

Work on your integrity. So that what you say and what you do both reflect the same set of core values. So your actions and your words match up.

Closely related is a clear sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. So everyone knows that you’re fair and even handed, rather than forever taking advantage of everyone.

Never speak badly of others. Because if you badmouth someone else to a friend, they’ll wonder if you also speak badly about them. And then they’ll stop sharing their real thoughts with you.

Everyone prefers being around optimists. So choose not to be negative, and actively look for the positive aspects of life. Seeking opportunities rather than dwelling on problems.

People always remember someone who’s helpful, thoughtful and kind.

And they admire ambition. So set yourself challenging goals. Because not only will you achieve more in your own life, you’ll inspire others. And they’ll remember you for that too.

We admire persistence. Because ambition’s never enough. You also have to persevere if you’re going to succeed. So whenever you stumble, just pick yourself up and get going again.

Consciously set out to be compassionate and understanding. Because we really appreciate people who can empathise with us when the going’s tough. And who help us see our way through life’s difficulties. And re-energise us.

Believe in yourself, and work on your self-confidence. Accepting yourself as you truly are, and being secure in your relationships. Because insecurity is extremely unattractive! But if you’re comfortable in your own skin, and expect to be treated well, then that’s how others will treat you.

Be open minded and forever willing to learn. Because once you’re set in your ways, then you close yourself off to new ideas and possibilities. And never spot exciting opportunities. We also prefer the company of people who’re open minded, and who listen to our ideas and views.

We also admire people who take responsibility for their actions. So never blame others for your problems, or act like a victim. Instead, learn from your difficulties. And before long you’ll be admire