Learning to let go of grudges against yourself - Daily Nation

Learning to let go of grudges against yourself

Sunday July 1 2018

Living in the sorrows of yesterday will only rob you off the joy of today, the chance to meet great things, people and opportunities of a lifetime.

Living in the sorrows of yesterday will only rob you off the joy of today, the chance to meet great things, people and opportunities of a lifetime.  PHOTO | FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP 


It has been said that we are our own worst critics. A fact that can be proved by each one of us. Evaluate yourself; are you your biggest cheerleader or critic?

While it is allowed to criticise oneself in order to keep on track and ensure you present your best to the world, there is some level of criticism that hinders your potential, rather than improve you.

Too much criticism of oneself results into self-pity, irrational decisions, despondence and stagnation.

People are walking in anguish holding grudges against self for things they did or failed to do.

You will be surprised that some of these things happened way back during childhood. The ‘carriers’ have held onto this pains and regret almost all their life. In return, the pain has eaten into their core, drenching their soul with bitterness and resentfulness.

Inadvertently, they have also allowed other people to label and brand them in reference to issues they have gone through, challenges they have faced, an inadequacy, weakness or a disturbing past. Why let shortcomings define you?


Forgive yourself, let go of the stupid kink you wrought on your life. You, of all others, should be a paradigm of confidence because your mistakes are proof that you dared to pursue. And even though you failed, you learnt an invaluable lesson. If it was not right back then, holding onto it will not make it right.

Living in the sorrows of yesterday will only rob you off the joy of today, the chance to meet great things, people and opportunities of a lifetime.

Forgive yourself from the heart and let your mouth profess. In your mouth lies the power of life and death. The same mouth blesses and curses. Through it, great and wonderful things have been spoken to life and others brought to naught. “From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks”.

One cannot move on whilst they are holding themselves back without knowledge. It’s a grave mistake to let out space in your life to thoughts that put you down. Renew your mind by choosing to align your thoughts, actions and processes in accordance to positive goals. Be optimistic and stand fearlessly for yourself against ‘yourself’. The worst tragedy would be letting the pain consume you and regret draw out your faith and hope. You must learn to match emotions with logic. And this can only be achieved through an interchange of the heart with the brain.


Does your anger rise and fall almost immediately like the ECG reading of a cardiac arrest patient? Do you move from decided to indecisiveness in short spans?

“Discover how you can thrive and stop being at war with your life and yourself. Realize that only you can best understand yourself because your weak and strong personalities make you, you. Also avert circumstances that lead you into wishing you were someone else.  You are unique, spectacular and you are God’s treassure, made in his own likeness for his glory.

Under no circumstance should you allow people who weigh you down into your life. You do not deserve such clutter in your life. Learn to trust your intuition because, your instincts are your warning lights. Good relationships should feel good. Be it sexual, friendly or family relations. They feel right and they do not hurt nor pressure you into being what you are not.

When you are your own cheerleader; you shall not have room to worry about losing because not everyone or everything you lose is a loss. Sometimes, it is what you need to move on.

You will also learn to discern things that matter and those that do not.

You will grow the courage and confidence to know your worth. With that, you shall without guilt walk away when the deal is not good, and leave the table when love is no longer being served.

Kindly refuse to give voice to thoughts that take you aback. Instead, clap for yourself even when there is none to applaud you. Although, consistency and discipline is harder when no one is cheering you on, those are the times you should be your biggest fan.

The journey of self evaluation will not be easy but always know this, “He who calmed the storm is able to meet your needs and calm the storm in you”. You only need to be visible to Him and invincible to the world.”

Search yourself, throw out what is holding you down. By all means learn from your mistakes but do not linger on them.