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Men are motivated by different things

Sunday March 17 2019

He wants to meet all your needs, make you feel safe and happy. ILLUSTRATION| IGAH

He wants to meet all your needs, make you feel safe and happy. ILLUSTRATION | IGAH 

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There’s a dilemma within every marriage.

What your man wants is very different from what you want, and from what you want him to want. And that’s not likely to change. But if you understand what really motivates your guy, then you’ll definitely get along better.

Like he’s probably a lot happier taking risks than you are. He dreams of being the richest guy in town. With an adoring, supportive woman at his side.

He wants to be powerful. Masculine, independent, and always able to go down to the bar when he wants, with his mates.


He wants to be your hero. To meet all your needs and make you feel safe and happy. He needs you to be proud of him. He’s no mind reader though, so do tell him what you want. No hints.


He wants to be able to boast about you. He wants his parents to love you. And for his mates to be jealous of him. So never put him down in front of them. And always look good when you’re out together!

He wants to be able to trust you. Not just in your love life. He wants to know he can share his most embarrassing secrets with you, and to feel certain you won’t pass them on to your mother. He wants to know you’ll be there for him no matter what happens.


He also needs a bit of peace and quiet from time to time. So if he says he’s not thinking about anything, it’s probably true!

And lay off the shouting. Men hate being shouted at. He wants to be listened to without being criticised or given advice. Men hate being told what to do — remember all those times when he’s been lost and won’t admit it?

He wants you to be happy if he buys you flowers. He likes the idea of you getting drunk once in a while, so long as you don’t start picking fights with him. And he wants you to really like sex!

To want him. And for you to be completely straight about it. Never ever to fake anything. And above all, no unkind remarks about his manhood.

He wants you to act out every sexual cliché in the book. Like going out with him commando. And eating breakfast wearing one of his shirts, and nothing else.


He wants a long weekend away that’s all about sex. He’s longing to see you naked in the moonlight. To be shown exactly what you need.

For you to take the initiative from time to time. And to be touched unexpectedly. Like a kiss on his ear while he’s reading. Or a slap on his rear while he’s cleaning his teeth. He needs to know you fancy him!

So try throwing a few of your inhibitions out of the window and going along with some of his ideas occasionally. You never know, you might discover something wonderful for both of you!