Menstruation stigma must stop. Period

Why is it that the most natural processes in the world are the ones that tend to embarrass us the most? Take, for instance, answering the call of nature.

I was having a chat with a couple of female friends recently when one mentioned that when she and her husband were newly dating, she would be distressed whenever she had to use the toilet. Her husband lived in a servants’ quarter, a small space that had been subdivided into two small rooms — a bedroom cum kitchen cum living room, and a toilet that doubled up as a bathroom — you know what a bedsitter looks like.

As you can imagine therefore, there was no privacy to talk of, and whenever she had to answer the call of nature when she visited him, she would do it self-consciously, aware that he was the silent listener to everything that was going on in that necessary room. Years later, this friend has been unable to completely shake off the discomfort that comes with using a toilet within earshot of others.

Yet the call of nature is the most natural in the world. Perhaps we should start having fart contests to get rid of this awkwardness that majority of us suffer. Or maybe not.

Anyway, this friend’s confession brought to mind that unfortunate story of the primary school student who committed suicide after a female teacher taunted and humiliated her for getting her period and soiling her clothes.

DESTIGMATISING MENSTRUATION

As if that was not enough, the teacher asked her to leave the class and stand outside. What made this story even more outrageous was the fact that the perpetrator was a woman, a woman who knew what menstruation is, having had it and experienced it for years, yet instead of reassuring her young charge, she had treated her in an inhumane way. That same day, the distraught girl was found hanging from a tree.

Menstruation, just like the call of nature, is a biological process that every woman goes through, therefore there shouldn’t be any embarrassment or stigma attached to it. And yet there is. Lots of it in fact, that there are several movements out with names such as ‘Free bleeding Movement’ and many others fighting to destigmatise menstruation. Isn’t it ridiculous that in 2019 we have such organisations?

But socialisation and traditions are to blame. From a young age, girls are taught to be clandestine about menstruation, to be covert about it, which suggests that there is something obscene and dirty about it, which, by extension, makes us dirty too. Unclean. You’re of course aware that in a traditional African society, a menstruating girl or woman was not allowed to mingle with others, especially not the men, until ‘the curse’ went away.

NO SHAME AT ALL

My first and only lesson about menstruation was given by one of my teachers in primary school, a kindly woman we simply called Mrs Mwangi, and because of that, I still hold her dear, many, many years later. To her credit, on that day, she did not send the boys out of class, telling them that they needed to know about it too.

Mothers of daughters have a big role to play in demystifying menstruation. Our young girls need to be assured, by their mothers, that the period is nothing to be ashamed about, that it is part of what being a woman entails so that in case they are unfortunate to come across a cruel teacher (or any other ignorant person) such as the one who drove Jackline Chepngeno to suicide, they will stand up to the bullies and educate them about this natural process, or psychologically rebuff the attempt to shame them.

Boys should also be taught about menstruation, otherwise the stigma will never go away — they will continue ridiculing the girls around them in case they soil their clothes, girls who could be their sisters, classmates, or girls they might end up marrying one day.

The writer is the Editor, ‘Society’ and Magazines, ‘Daily Nation’. [email protected]