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Myths about dating, intimacy debunked

Sunday December 8 2019

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A man should get to know a woman better — or become famous — before he makes his move! ILLUSTRATION | IGAH | NATION MEDIA GROUP 

CHRIS HART
By CHRIS HART
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We all think we know how men and women behave when they first meet, mostly from films, books and magazines.

But in real life their behaviour is generally much more complicated! Like for example, everyone thinks that women are much choosier than men.

And that they always go for the guys with money. While men go for any girl who looks young, pretty and sexy.

But in reality, things actually depend on who makes the first move. Because both men and women are overcritical when someone new approaches them, and far less fussy when the roles are reversed.

Which puts men at a disadvantage, because they’re generally expected to take the initiative.

A smart guy can level things up by not approaching a girl until he’s seen some sign of real interest in her eyes.

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Then in effect she’ll have made the first move, even though he’s still the one who has to go over and say the first words!

INTIMACY

Then there is men’s well known willingness to have casual sex. While everyone expects that women will be much more cautious.

And it’s true that most men do leap at pretty much every opportunity, while women take far more persuading.

But if a woman gets an offer from someone who’s familiar, famous or ferociously attractive, she’ll be just as receptive as a man!

You know why? It’s because her subconscious assumes that intimacy will be awkward with an unfamiliar partner.

So a man should get to know a woman better — or become famous — before he makes his move!

People also believe that men enjoy sex more than women. Which is actually true for one night stands, hookups and casual romances.

But in a long-term committed relationship, women enjoy sex just as much as any man.

That’s probably because their pleasure depends so much more on having a partner who cares about how they feel.

STEADY PARTNER

Surveys that ask men and women how many sexual partners they would like during their lives always show men averaging higher numbers than women.

But that’s actually caused by just a few hugely promiscuous or boastful guys inflating the results. Whereas in real life a big majority of both men and women say they would prefer to have just one steady partner.

But what about the number of sexual partners men and women actually have? Most surveys still suggest that men have more than women.

But if a poll’s carefully worded to suggest that anyone who lies will be found out, then the average number of lovers is exactly the same for men and women!

Even the story that men think about sex every few seconds isn’t really true. OK, they do think about it more than women.

Nearly twice as often, in fact. But men also think about food much more than women. And sleeping!

Which suggests that sex isn’t any more important to a guy than anything else in his life!

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