No substitute for intimacy

Saturday March 18 2017

It’s a good sign if you’re playful and tease

It’s a good sign if you’re playful and tease each other outside of the bedroom because playful couples usually have a great time in bed. ILLUSTRATION| IGAH 

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It’s surprising how few couples make good sex a priority in their relationship. But you should, because that pretty much guarantees that your whole relationship will go well. It’s not just all those hormones. Because the habits and attitudes that lead to a great sex life also improve every other aspect of your relationship.

So while you’re dating, it’s a good idea to watch for the signs that say things will go well when you become lovers. 

Like confidence and good social skills – avoid anyone who’s insecure or uptight.

Enthusiastic lovers tend to have a good appetite. Picky eaters are usually more reserved. If your date’s voice is full of energy and passion? That’s how they’ll be between the sheets.

Check the way your date starts touching you. It should show they’re sensitive to your needs. Not too fast, not too slow. Some people just don’t touch at all, suggesting they don’t really enjoy intimacy.

While a gorgeous kiss suggests life’s going to be good.

Sex should be something you can talk about easily. Because that will help you understand what works for you both. And solve the inevitable problems. Like if either of you ever feels rejected or under pressure. Try to broaden the conversations to include everything concerned with sleeping together. Like your bedtime routine. Because, for example, couples who go to bed at different times are much less likely to be intimate, as are couples who watch TV in the bedroom, or who are forever checking out their Facebook accounts. While couples who sleep naked and cuddle together as they settle down are always much happier together.


It’s a good sign if you often look into each other’s eyes. Good lovers do that a lot.

It’s a good sign if you’re playful and tease each other outside of the bedroom. Because couples who are playful usually have a great time between the sheets.

It’s a good sign if you’re able to be completely honest with one another. Because a good sex life depends on being completely open about everything in the bedroom. Total honesty and openness also builds trust and emotional intimacy in the whole of the relationship. 

Don’t laugh, but being a little messy is another good sign. OK, there are limits! But if either of you are too highly strung and perfectionist, then you’re not going to be able to relax and enjoy sex for what it is – faintly yucky and ridiculous! So let your house get slightly untidy, and focus instead on being completely connected to the one you love.

Good lovers are enthusiastic, curious and always interested in their partner’s responses. Good lovers are willing to experiment and to try anything that might be a turn-on. Good lovers are able to listen to feedback, and have healthy sense of humour. And couples who approach their whole life together with those attitudes don’t just have a wonderful time in bed. Their entire relationship becomes simply wonderful.