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Secret to giving and receiving true love

Sunday April 21 2019

Resist the temptation to put your partner down.

Resist the temptation to put your partner down. It hurts far more from you than from a stranger. ILLUSTRATION | IGAH | NATION MEDIA GROUP 

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Most of us are pretty ordinary. But deep inside we feel special. That feeling comes from the way our parents loved and supported us when we were small. And so we spend the rest of our lives trying to find a partner who’ll do the same.

Which means you should always do your best to make your partner feel remarkable. Because when you make them feel special, they’ll love you in return.

So if you want someone to fall for you, start on your very first date. And don’t stop when you get married! People react powerfully to praise, so consistently showing your partner that you understand, love and admire them, every day, means they’ll be yours forever.

Make your spouse feel that they’re important to you by looking closely at them whenever they’re speaking. Lean a little closer, smile, and nod in approval at whatever they’re saying.

Show a genuine interest in your partner, and remember the little details of their day. Because dropping little-remembered details into your conversation shows your partner that you care. So always ask how their meeting went. Or whether their headache’s gone.

And never miss an opportunity to express approval: ‘That was very clever.’ ‘I’d never have thought of that.’ There’ll be plenty of times when you’ll fall out. But those moments won’t break up your relationship, against a sincere background of admiration. Men are generally lousy at telling their wives that they admire something about them. So if you do you’ll stand out from the crowd. Add little compliments into your sentences. ‘You’re much too young to remember this …’ Or ‘Anyone as fit as you will do it easily …’ Your partner will love you for them.

Don’t only praise your partner for what you think are their good points. Watch for the things that matter to them.

Women especially like to be praised for their intelligence rather than their appearance. But a guy would love to hear he’s good looking for a change!

Tell your partner the good things you think about them. It’s amazing how few of us do.

So even if it’s a bit corny, tell them about it! They can be simple things, like telling him he has nice eyes. Or that she dances well. That he has nice hands. Or she makes you laugh.

Give compliments straight after your partner’s done something really nice. Whatever it is, the first thing your partner needs to hear’s what you thought about it.

So never miss the moment.

Resist the temptation to put your partner down. It hurts far more from you than from a stranger. If they compliment you, accept it gracefully. ‘How nice of you to notice’.

If they ask you about something: ‘How was your day?’ reflect if back: ‘Fine thanks — how was yours?’

So often, the little things that make up love gradually fade away. But keep telling your partner what makes them special, and love will never die.