Staying connected daily

Saturday January 13 2018

Some couples are just happier than others. It’s because they’ve figured out all the little things partners need to do every day to feel connected. ILLUSTRATION| IGAH

Some couples are just happier than others. It’s because they’ve figured out all the little things partners need to do every day to feel connected. ILLUSTRATION| IGAH 

By CHRIS HART
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Some couples are just happier than others. It’s because they’ve figured out all the little things partners need to do every day to feel connected.

These daily habits might sound trivial, but they cost nothing at all, and will also give your relationship more resilience when things go wrong.

Like you’ll be happier if you check in with each other throughout the day. So that you both know that you’re thinking about one another. Just saying “Hi” tells your partner that you love them. Whether by text, email, phone or face to face.

Whenever one of you does something for the other, show your appreciation. There’s lots of ways of showing gratitude, but a simple “thank you” is by far the best. And don’t keep score. You’ll be happier doing things for one another without expecting anything in return.

Tease each other, laugh and joke together. Because the more fun you and your partner have with each other, the more bonded you’ll be. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Because nitpicking quickly sucks all the happiness out of a relationship.

Instead, focus on what your partner does right, and learn to let the other things go. You’ll improve your relationship - and feel more relaxed and peaceful.

Give each other space. Be sensitive when your partner wants to pursue an individual interest that you don’t share, or just wants to be alone. And let them have some time to themselves.

Learn to listen. Because just listening to your partner is actually far more important than trying to solve every problem. Simply listening, really listening, means you’ll have a better chance of actually understanding what they’re telling you. And when you both feel that you’re hearing one another, you’ll be much happier together.

Make trust and forgiveness the centre of your relationship. Because couples who trust one another are happier and less anxious. Talk with your partner openly and honestly, and don’t do anything that might worry them. Create rituals and routines. Because whether they’re big or small, it’s the things you do together every day that bond you together. And it’s the simplest things that make you happiest. So always get ready for bed together at the same time. Secretly hold hands whenever you can in public. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work.

…OK, walking into the house after work can be hectic. The children pester you, your partner’s tired, you’re shattered after a long day at work. But a short pause and a hug will completely change your mood. So make this a ritual you work hard at. 

Say “I love you,” every morning.  Say “Good night,” every night, or something just as nice. Regardless of how you feel. 

And be proud to be seen with your partner. Are you? Constantly work on appreciating their good points, that everyone else sees and maybe you’ve started taking for granted.