What is in your life’s tool kit, besides the internet and Google?

The concept of being able to fix things — and sometimes without much success: people — fascinates me.

That’s why I’m largely sold on life’s “how to’s”. How to make more money, get healthier, be happier, find love, keep love, raise children, etc.

Speaking of the last one; how to raise children, I’ve learned that while tried and tested techniques are a gold standard, parents today need a whole lot more.

They need more skills and different tools than our grandfathers relied upon. Blame it on the internet that changed everything, made us question long established values and identities.

And so, while I never dreamt of questioning or rebelling against my parents to their face, today’s youth are not as polite. #ifikie wazazi will leave you in little doubt of the lengths the youth will go to, to be heard.

And so I find myself an African parent in the unfamiliar territory of the 21st century still dependent on what my parents taught me but also, searching for new skills and tools to go into my kit box.

For instance, now we are more likely to talk with our children. Our parents talked to us or at us in harsh monotones. Now we ask Junior for his opinion and, even more bewildering, his feelings!

Do you remember ever having an opinion about what was for dinner, let alone any feelings about it? Not unless you wanted a beating that would land you in the Children’s Court if you tried it today.

So, times have changed. And it is best that we change with them. It’s not just parenting. We are seeing seismic shifts in our businesses, careers and relationships.

REDUNDANT

Certain careers are becoming redundant and universities are changing their curricula to adapt to market needs.  As for relationships, roles are changing and with them, the lines between men and women are becoming blurry. So while our grandfathers had the hallowed opportunity to speak for our grandmothers without seeking their views, today’s young women are not as reticent.

An analogy that best describes what we are witnessing and the approaches we need to take to thrive and survive, involves an axe and a power saw. Twenty years ago, it took a person a day or more to cut down a tree with an axe. It was back breaking work. Today, the same job can be done in less than an hour using a power saw. In fact, the same person can cut several trees in a day. Just using newer technology he is able to do more, and make more money with less sweat.

Now let’s imagine that we have a life tool kit that we probably inherited from parents, our community and school. Isn’t it time to reopen the tool kit to determine if we have the right tools for the journey ahead? We have witnessed more changes in a decade than our parents did in their lifetime.

We can hang on to their tools because, let’s face it, an axe is still invaluable in any serious tool kit. However, it is time to go shopping for new tools.

Some of this will require us going back to school to learn new skills. Or downloading an app that will make our lives easier. Yet all of us can learn a new way to think about traditional challenges using 21st century solutions.

It means getting rid of the African male psyche that says, “An African man can not be seen in the kitchen.” It means challenging beliefs that children can not think or feel. It means empowering women to do more than they were traditionally allowed, if they so choose. It means coming to every challenging situation with the question, “do I need an axe or a power saw for this?” But it does not mean throwing away the axe.

During a recent visit to a friend’s parents in a village, we had to rely on Google Maps for directions. What we didn’t know, what Google did not tell us, was that a tree had fallen on the fastest route to the homestead.

We were flagged down by a villager who gave us this information. We had to abandon our technology at that point and rely on human interaction. We got where we were going, but in this instance, we went back to the axe.

The way things have always been done is now being challenged by smarter, faster, cheaper ways. By all means, keep some of your old tools but do not forget to upgrade.

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