‘Your man’s mind still needs detoxifying’ and other learnings from 2015

As a teacher, I am trained to recap learnings. So it goes without saying that for the last Wife Speak of this year, I am compelled to recap some of the most popular articles, in terms of reader responses.

“What your husband thinks about in that nothing moment” was by far the most demanded article this year.  Ladies, sadly, your man’s mind still needs detoxifying.

When he is not thinking school fees and house rent, chances are that he is thinking about other mundane things that I will not bother elaborating here. And yes, indeed, they are not paying attention to our detailed, elaborate narratives.

Believe it or not, they are capable of staring at a blank wall, the TV (or you) and let their minds wander into uncoordinated mumbo jumbo processes that they too cannot comprehend. When you finally ask him what he is thinking about, he will respond;

“Nothing.” And he is being truthful. It of course does not deter us from asking the age old question, hoping to hear that he was only thinking about us the whole time!

Resilient women and crafty men

“Women are resilient, men are crafty”.  A woman will readily admit to a traffic offence and ask the police officer to pardon her, promising to never repeat the offence. A man will likely get himself into more trouble because he will try to outsmart the officer,

forgetting that the officer has, in his lifetime of police work, heard all sorts of tales and excuses. So, yes, your wife is best suited to deal with the traffic police than you are, unless you do not value your time and money.

Gentlemen, be warned, your wife has the memory of an elephant. We have a razor sharp brain that recalls dates and events in crystal clear details. You called me a balloon a decade ago.

Please do not try laugh your way out of it, because it still is not funny to me. We could be in the middle of a very hilarious play, and something triggers that memory, and my mood instantly changes. I still can’t believe that you called me a balloon when I was pregnant with our now teenage daughter. How could you!

Your marriage needs a blue print. It must be guided by a script beyond the two of you. Two imperfect humans, from diverse backgrounds and bringing on board baggage, cannot make a perfect marriage.

Without a blue print, it becomes a double trouble kind of journey and a herculean task to get into a decade together, leave alone celebrating silver jubilees.  I subscribe to the biblical guidelines of marriage, where the husband is commanded to love his wife

unconditionally and sacrificially (Yes, really, it’s in the bible) and the wife is to submit to her husband. Marriage is one tough affair, I have no idea how those who make it work for decades do it without God being in the picture.

A man under no authority is one loose cannon. He is armed, dangerous and not too smart. If he is the head of the home, he had better be answerable to a higher authority; else, he will think of himself as a god and ultimately lead the family into a dark pit.

Ladies, stop calling him your husband if he has not manned up enough to meet your no nonsense dad, your intolerant brother, disapproving sister and protective mother.

If he has not made a commitment to you, like paid the dowry or walked you down the aisle, then please, reserve the title of husband to a deserving brother.

We learned too that this city is teeming with eligible singles. The good women seem to meet the bad men and the good men seem to end up dating the bad women, hence the need for a dating school.

Here’s to the New Year!