No, you shouldn’t be Facebook friends with your boss!
How do I politely turn my boss down in a way that ensures she won’t bring up the same request in future? PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP
What you need to know:
- I will say it as it is; the relationship with your boss should be purely professional, and no, you shouldn’t be friends with her on Facebook, since this is generally a forum where we interact with our social circles.
- In case she notices that you are no longer active on your page and asks why, tell her, politely, that you feel uncomfortable relating with her on Facebook, and that she should respect the position.
- In case of further intimidation from her, escalate the issue to the human resources office. Your boss should be aware that she is trending on dangerous ground, and that this may have her relieved of her duties.
Q. I am 30. A few weeks ago, my boss, a middle-aged woman, sent me a friend request on Facebook; I accepted. On one of my posts, I had mentioned that I planned to watch the premiere of a certain movie the following month. She liked the post. The following day, she requested that we watch the movie together and even promised to buy me dinner afterwards. I like my boss, but I don’t want to socialise with her outside work. How do I politely turn her down in a way that ensures she won’t bring up the same request in future?
I will say it as it is; the relationship with your boss should be purely professional, and no, you shouldn’t be friends with her on Facebook, since this is generally a forum where we interact with our social circles.
The fact is that your boss is taking advantage of her position of power and authority over you to intimidate you into agreeing to associate and interact with her socially. It is also a given that relating socially with your boss might jeopardise your current position, especially if you decline to accompany her for other events in future.
There are several options that you may employ to get yourself out of this precarious position. One, you could consider reducing your interactivity with social media for some time to throw her off balance.
You could also open another Facebook account. In case she notices that you are no longer active on your page and asks why, tell her, politely, that you feel uncomfortable relating with her on Facebook, and that she should respect the position.
Do not also agree to accompany her to any event that is not work-related. Note that she might still continue harassing you offline in the office.
If this happens, check if you have a policy on fraternisation with colleagues and involve an ombudsman to assist in warning your boss to maintain a professional relationship with you.
In case of further intimidation from her, escalate the issue to the human resources office. Your boss should be aware that she is trending on dangerous ground, and that this may have her relieved of her duties.
Remember, you have a choice to determine who to associate with, hence she cannot compel you to relate with her against your wish.
