ASK HR: Can I gift my boss’s wife a pair of earrings to show appreciation?

Since I got a job as a data assistant last year, my boss has been very supportive and always offers guidance. PHOTO | FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • His wife is not your friend and you don’t even know her taste. Why would you want her to wear earrings that are similar to yours?
  • I am sure you mean well, but your gesture can easily be misconstrued.
  • First, it might suggest unwelcome attention towards your boss.
  • Second, it might show his wife that you have a closer relationship with her husband than necessary.

Q. Since I got a job as a data assistant last year, my boss has been very supportive and always offers guidance. Last week I went on a trip and bought two pairs of earrings.

Prior to the trip, I had been shopping for a gift to appreciate my boss but when his wife came to the office the other day, I thought of gifting her one pair of the earrings as a way of thanking him for his support.

Is it okay to gift his wife the earrings or will I be crossing the line in our professional relationship?

 

Give your boss’s wife a gift? No, you should not. Do not ever go there. It is completely inappropriate. Imagine the conversation between the two of you: “Hi boss, last week I bought these lovely earrings and thought they would look good on your wife.” That would be very awkward. You should not put yourself or your boss in such a situation and spoil a good professional relationship.

His wife is not your friend and you don’t even know her taste. Why would you want her to wear earrings that are similar to yours? I am sure you mean well, but your gesture can easily be misconstrued.

First, it might suggest unwelcome attention towards your boss. Second, it might show his wife that you have a closer relationship with her husband than necessary.

You do not want to do that. It might  also put pressure on your boss to reciprocate and that is far from your goal.

Do not forget, however, that your boss is doing what he is supposed to: to support, guide and enable you to do your work. I know there are many bad bosses out there; we hear horror stories all the time and you have a reason to appreciate him.

But there are more acceptable and professional ways to show your appreciation, like saying thank you. You can also take time after your business review meetings to let him know how his support impacts your work.

If the opportunity is not right, you can always send him a thank you note. You and your colleagues could also buy him lunch or a birthday cake.

This way he will know the entire team appreciates him.

However, there is a far much better way to thank him: by doing your job diligently, exceeding your objectives and remaining a reliable, hardworking and loyal employee.

Many bosses like that. And, you will see how important this is as you grow in your career.