ASK HR: Help! My petty boss won’t allow me to leave in peace

Q. My workplace is terrible and I badly want to leave, something that my boss somehow got to learn. He told me that should I dare quit, the company would not rehire me in case I wanted to return. That is okay, because I would not want to work here again. My fear is that he will not give me a good recommendation letter.

More often than not, employees don’t leave workplaces, they leave their bosses, which would explain why yours is overreacting. He might have taken your intention to leave as failure on his part, though this does not mean that he is justified to treat you the way he did.

Some work environments could be challenging even when you have a supportive boss though. That said, I think that you should find out how your boss learnt that you are considering leaving the organisation. The probability is that in your frustration, you mentioned it to a colleague who informed him. With this in mind, I really hope that you have not been bad-mouthing your boss because this is not only a sign of disrespect, it is also unprofessional.

If you are disgruntled, avoid having corridor or tea station gossip with your colleagues. They may appear to sympathise, but the fact is that they are not the answer to your problems and might just be the ones that give your boss distorted information.

You could also look at this incident positively, that maybe you are a good performer, so your boss does not want to lose you. I suggest that you list the reasons why you wish to disengage with your employer and assess if these can be addressed. If they can, you could consider staying on especially if the offer you have is not very attractive.

Have you found a better employer? Have you done your due diligence to avoid moving to a worse employer? Should you decide to leave, put in a resignation letter giving sufficient notice as per your contract of employment. Also schedule an exit interview with HR to explain the reasons for leaving, which hopefully will be used to improve the workplace.

Most organisations consider rehiring employees who left in good standing, therefore, ensure that you act professionally during your notice period and also be willing to assist your successor with any institutional memory that will help them settle into the job.

I am not sure whether your boss is the ultimate decision maker when it comes to recruitment, so it might be difficult for him to block your rehire should you choose to return, unless he can prove that you acted unprofessionally when you resigned. He also has no power to prevent you from moving, he can only negotiate and convince you to stay.
Also, if he gave you negative recommendation, it would beg the question why he had not fired you to begin with. Word of caution though, in future if you intend to part ways with an employer, hold it confidentially and only discuss your decision with your boss when you have signed the offer letter with the new employer, unless of course you want a counter offer. Even after you leave, remain your former employer’s ambassador.