If it were up to you, how would you celebrate Christmas?

Endless partying, gifting, travelling and catching up with relatives you have not had time to see during the year – no doubt, most of us look forward to the Christmas season, the one occasion many manage to take a break.

After a year of hard work, this is deservedly the time to let off and to punch the “play” button.

But what if you do not have the money to go on that expensive holiday or wine and dine? What if you would rather remain in the city and have the time of your life with friends but your parents won’t let you?

Five young people paint a picture of what Christmas really is to them and what they would do differently if the choice was theirs.

WILLIAM DEKKER, 25

PRESS OFFICER

“The surest way to have a fulfilling Christmas is to have minimal expectations.”

For Dekker, the festive season throws his normal work in-put off balance as everyone at his workplace is in a frenzy to clear their backlog in preparation for the New Year.

“I like to work at a moderate pace and to meet my deadlines on time, but this is not possible a few days to Christmas. I am usually bombarded with more work as colleagues seek to put their pending projects out of the way, which is sometimes overwhelming,” says Dekker, who works with Doctors without Borders

“A senior officer of the company who is under pressure to meet their annual deadline will, for instance, hand down the pressure to junior officers as the last line of defence,” Dekker laments, noting that laxity festers among workers as the festive mood kicks in.

Work pressure aside, nothing unhinges him quite like the frosty economics of the Christmas season due to the increased cost of certain essential products as people shop for the festivities.

“You can’t blame the sellers though, because this is often a strategy to recoup profits after what might have been a year of low sales. It is also a way of compensating for low business in the week between Christmas and the New Year,” he says.

But perharps what he dreads most about Christmas is the pressure to spend, the pressure to spend money that one does not have, to begin with.

“While it is easy to navigate the state of being broke on regular days, Christmas presents a different challenge due to the pressure to conform,” he explains.

This means that most end up borrowing in an effort to keep up with those around them. So far, Dekker says, he has managed to quell the pressure to borrow.

“Most of my friends are normally walking the same tight financial rope around this time, so I cannot borrow from them. This thankfully keeps me from sliding into unnecessary debt.”

Some of his friends though, do not mind celebrating Christmas on debt.

“The offers around Christmas are so tempting. When you factor in the pressure to fit in, resisting the temptation of debt becomes harder for some. I try to avoid the debt hangover that manifests in January by living within my means, which means sacrificing a lot.”

He observes that the Christmas period tends to widen the gap between happy folks with abundance and lonely people with nothing to celebrate. In his view, the age of social media has only made the discrepancy sharper.

“There is nothing as depressing as seeing photos of your friends having the time of their lives in a dream holiday destination while you can hardly afford a trip within your county. It makes you feel inadequate. I have been in this situation a number of times,” he reflects.

Being at peace with himself and others, spending time with the people he loves and giving to the less privileged in the society is the most ideal way to celebrate Christmas.

If he had the power to change the way Christmas is celebrated, Dekker would start by lowering the soaring expectations attached to this season.

“Many people beat themselves up for being unable to meet certain goals for Christmas. While it is good to make it memorable, it is unfair to yourself to struggle so much in the quest for things that don’t even last,” he argues, and adds,

“The surest way to have a fulfilling Christmas is to have minimal expectations.”

MAUREEN LEINA, 23

STUDENT

“I would rather spend Christmas with my friends, but my parents won’t allow me.”

Maureen longs for the good old days of her childhood when Christmas meant lots of presents, celebrating Christmas in church, meeting her extended family and being taken out for treats.

Managing expectations, she says, has turned Christmas into a dreary affair without memories worth keeping, save for the depressing ones.

“One of my closest relatives called me recently to find out if I will be travelling home for Christmas. She also wanted to know what gifts I will be taking with me. Ironically, we haven’t spoken since May this year,” says Leina, a third year student of project management at the University of Nairobi.

What worries her most about the December festivities if the pressure to spend.

“My contract with the insurance firm I was working for ended a few months ago. Common sense tells me that I should use my savings prudently because I don’t have a job, but there are some financial obligations I am expected to fulfil around this time,” she explains.

When one has younger siblings, she points out, it does not matter whether or not you have job - you must buy them presents for Christmas.

She says that though she will try to make her family happy this December, she will be careful not to stretch her resources too much.

“It does not make economic sense to save money throughout the year only to spend it all within a week.”

Like most young people, every year, there is a tug of war between the wishes of her parents and those of her friends. There exists in her family an unwritten rule that everyone must travel home during Christmas. Her parents, therefore, expect her to join the others without failure, yet her friends insist that she remains in the city with them.

“This year, I have several invitations from friends which I would really like to honour but my parents will hear none of that,” she says, adding that her parents win every year.

While the break is good, she feels that Christmas disrupts the normal schedule she is used to, and if she had a choice, she would steer clear of this holiday.

“I love to read and to watch movies late into the night and sleep in the following day. Sometimes I invite friends over and we chat the night away. This changes when I travel home – for instance, I have no chance to sleep in because my parents will expect me to run errands. I don’t have the space to plan my day, which is frustrating.”

JULIET NILA, 26

COMMUNICATION AND MARKETING OFFICER

“Christmas is supposed to be a time of rest, yet is the most taxing period of the year.”

For Nila, Christmas is not complete without the thrill of shopping, gifting and partying. Get-togethers are some of the traditions that have persisted and transcended years in her family. It would be perfect, but the hustle of travelling always puts a damper on the merry-making mood.

“On ordinary days, I am able to travel home with no hustle. When I book a bus, I am assured of space and comfort, but this is never the case during Christmas due to the many people travelling upcountry,” says Nila, who works for The Somo Project.

She goes on,

“Bus fare to Kilifi, where I come from, is normally doubled during the festive season, and booking a ticket and paying for it beforehand does not guarantee you space.”

Half of her Christmas budget, she laments, is gobbled up by increased cost of travelling. Ideally, Christmas should be a time of rest, but Nila feels that it has become the most taxing time of the year.

“There is a dizzying amount of activities to do within a month, from attending friends’ graduation ceremonies, family trips and wedding parties, and in the process, one is left physically and emotionally exhausted, besides the money one spends during these occasions, money that one had not budgeted for,” she says.

But these are not the only fears she has. Though she looks forward to reconnecting with her extended family after a busy year, which comes with feasting, she fears putting on weight.

“I am highly conscious about my looks, I am even on a weight-watching regimen, which I know will be tested this December due to all the eating that takes place around this time,” she says.

The partying euphoria at the end of year, which includes office parties, tempting offers from restaurants and family gatherings, she points out, is not good for people on lifestyle watch.

“It would look bad if you didn’t attend these gatherings, or if you attended but didn’t eat or drink anything – the result is that you end up betraying your weight-loss strategy. It is difficult to avoid junk when everyone else around you is eating it.”

NICK MUTHUMBI, 24

DIGITAL MARKETER

“Social pressure to spend loads of money to celebrate one day is unnecessary.”

“I like to have a good time, but why do we have to strain all year long to treat ourselves well in the last month of the year? We should celebrate life throughout the year,” he says.

Like Karen, Nick fears the barrage of insensitive questions that nosey relatives ask when he travels upcountry.

“You came for Christmas alone again! When are you getting married? - I find these questions very annoying. I have a partner, but I want to move things without haste and introduce her to my family when the right time comes,” he explains.

Though he believes that Christmas deserves the hype it gets, he is perplexed when people lose themselves to the merry-making, bringing everything to a standstill for days.

“Most businesses are shut during this time of the year, greatly inconveniencing people who might be looking for certain services over the holiday,” he observes.

An entrepreneur in the tech space, he regrets that his business suffers during the festive season, significantly affecting the cash flow since most of his clients divert money they would have spent on his products and services to merrymaking.

Though there are those that seek his services around this time, majority of the clients ask for an extension of the payment period mostly to the beginning of the year.

KAREN KOINET, 20

STUDENT

“Christmas is not for hustlers, it’s for people with a regular income.”

Karen comes from a large family. As Christmas draws nearer, she looks forward to meeting her many cousins at her grandparents’ home in Kajiado. But one thing puts a damper on this otherwise joyous time: conflicts within the family.

“Some of my uncles have long-standing disputes. When they meet at home during Christmas, their differences might come to the fore, which might spoil the festive mood for the rest of us,” fears Karen, a third year student at the University of Nairobi.

The rivalry between her uncles stems from land issues and inheritance. It seems that these brothers bottle up bitterness throughout the year only to release it during Christmas when everyone is present.

“The fact that our fathers are at loggerheads strains our relationship as cousins,” she says.

She also dreads what she refers to as intrusion by some relatives.

“There are personal issues that I wouldn’t discuss even with my parents, yet some relatives expect me to discuss these matters with them – they for instance want to know who I am dating,”

When someone you are not close to persistently probes your personal life, she points out, it becomes uncomfortable.

If it were up to her, she would not travel up country for Christmas. And with a good reason.

“Given my financial circumstances, it would make more sense to work during the Christmas season to earn some money to get me by during the first few months of the New Year - the business boom at this time of the year makes it the best time to work as a temp,” she explains.

But she does not have that choice because her parents expect Karen, who is presently interning at a law firm in Nairobi, to travel home.

She would also like to celebrate Christmas in style, but her financial state cannot allow her.

“People with stable jobs and a regular income can afford to celebrate Christmas, after all, they will get a pay check at the end of the month, if you’re hustling however, Christmas is inconveniencing.”