ASK HR: Why do employers forbid office romance?

Our employer prohibits any form of emotional relationships with colleagues. However, I fell in love with my workmate, but we have managed to keep our relationship private. It is no longer possible to hide

because we have been spotted together by colleagues in intimate setups. I am scared we might get fired for breaking the rules, so I am actively looking for a job elsewhere. But what happens in the meantime?

Matters of the heart are personal and no one other than self can dictate who to fall for.

Employers appreciate that when co-workers from diverse walks of life spend time together on a regular basis, they are likely grow fond of each other, leading to deeper relationships that may lead to lifetime commitment. Intimate relationships at work can create many challenges, ranging from favouritism, gossip, biased feedback to not being taken seriously or being sidelined on key assignments or career growth.

For these reasons and many others, employers have policies that discourage co-workers' relationships to protect everyone from adverse effects this may bring to a work environment.

That said, you have nothing to be ashamed of, but you risk consequences stated in your policies. Now that your secret is out though known by a few, office rumour mills move fast and it is just a matter of time before your bosses are in the know. You need make your move quickly.

Before you go open about this, be sure it is leading to a long time commitment and is not a fling that will wear off.

Imagine if you were to agree that you resign to avoid consequences of this policy, only for the relationships to end thereafter. Obviously, there would be some regrets especially if you both enjoy your work.

So when you are ready to take it to the next level, you can be open and speak to your supervisor and seek guidance.

Most likely if do not work closely, your boss may see no potential conflict, which may require either of you to leave assuming you are good workers.

Since you expect one of you to remain employed, it is important to manage the disclosure prudently to avoid a shameful situation that may jeopardise continued employment of the one who remains.

Relationships at work can complicate your career growth. Be sure that what you have going does not in any way interfere with your productivity and keep your home affairs at home as relationships are complicated.

All said, if you are sure you want a lifetime together, it is a good idea for one of you to explore other employment to maximise your potential for career growth.