MYSTORY: I lost my baby, but I lived to see another day

“In 2015, everything was going well. The gym I had opened the previous year was doing well, I had enrolled for a course in business management to improve my skills and my husband was set to pay my bride price after six years. The icing on the cake was that I was expecting our second baby, the son I had been trying to conceive for many years.

“Things went smoothly with the pregnancy, up until the fourth month when I started experiencing severe nausea and high blood pressure. The doctors told me that I might give birth to a preterm baby and advised that I needed constant monitoring and bed rest.

“However, I was still juggling my roles as a wife, mother, student and businesswoman, so I never really got time to rest as the doctor had advised. By the six month, I was taking over-the-counter painkillers regularly to deal with the constant backaches and abdominal pains. I thought it was just exhaustion, little did I know it was a warning sign. Things worsened when I started spotting and the doctors ordered bed rest for two weeks. At first I heeded the advice, but before long, my responsibilities were calling, putting me back on my feet to attend to them. I was especially focused on ensuring that the bride price ceremony that was coming up went well. After the ceremony as I was preparing to travel back home from the village, the worst happened. I felt some wetness in my pants and thought that some urine had leaked. As I made my way to the toilet, the wetness increased accompanied by abdominal pains. I called out for help and my sister-in-law got me to a taxi and rushed me to a nearby public hospital. At the casualty, we explained that it was an emergency, but we were dismissed and told to wait in line because the doctor was handling other emergencies. We rushed to a private hospital where we were informed that there were no obstetricians on call at the weekend. By this time I was bleeding heavily, so we moved on to the next hospital, where I had to wait till my husband sent money for consultation, before they attended to me. By the time I eventually saw the doctor, I had lost the pregnancy. I was hospitalised for four days, during which I cried my heart out. I blamed my husband for not being there on time and I blamed myself for being too occupied with my other pursuits to pay attention to the signs.

“At home, things were not any better. I closed the gym and locked myself up in the house for two months, only leaving to attend my evening classes. I was an emotional wreck, but I shut everyone out, including my husband. My turning point came when my husband, concerned about my emotional state, called in some church members, who counselled me until I started to see things in a different light. My husband and I agreed not to discuss the miscarriage and to trust that there would be other babies.

“I wanted to get pregnant immediately, but my gynaecologist advised me not to put too much pressure on myself to conceive again. I picked up the pieces of my life and reconnected with my friends, though my gym stayed closed.

“This year I got pregnant again. This time round I’m taking precautions and doing everything the doctor says. I’m taking it easy and I have learnt that money is not everything. My husband has also walked with me every step of the way. I finished my course last year, so I have been able to concentrate on my yet-to-be-born baby! Everything happens for a reason. I’m glad I survived the ordeal of losing a pregnancy and because of that I try to encourage other women who have lost their pregnancies. I’m due any time now and I can’t wait to my baby!”