Girl, you need to do those background checks

Why you must do your background checks on that new guy you’re dating - and how to do it. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • We live in a fast-paced world where face-to-face interactions have been replaced by social media associations.
  • Is a background check with government and other agencies worth the hassle?
  • She was already too deep in the relationship when she realised the man she had fallen for was serving time in prison.
  • Incidentally all her close friends discouraged her but Fatma decided to shut out the world.

We live in a fast-paced world where face-to-face interactions have been replaced by social media associations. No longer do couples meet through family and friends. Now, it is not unusual for two people to get together via their Facebook or Instagram accounts.

However, while it was possible to get to know someone and their background via references from common friends, these days, all we have to go by, for the most part, is someone’s carefully curated social media posts in which they edit pictures and words to look like whomever they want to be.

With no referral or common interests, how can you ascertain they are who they are claiming to be? Is a background check with government and other agencies worth the hassle?

JAILBIRD LOVER

Fatma, 33, fell victim to a man she wished she had done her research on. Theirs was a love brewed on social media and Fatma says that her lover had mastered the art of sweet and enticing words.

"He had the language I would call 'heavenly' and we would chat throughout the night," says Fatma. She was already too deep in the relationship when she realised the man she had fallen for was serving time in prison.

Is he an ex-convict perhaps? Thankfully the Criminal of Investigations Department (CID) have biometric records of anyone who has been arrested and has a criminal record. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

"I gave my heart to a man behind bars. He would write me a poem every morning," confesses Fatma. In no time, the convict got her hook, line and sinker. "I only realised something was amiss when he kept postponing our date until one day he dropped the bombshell!"

Ironically, Fatma continued her relationship with the man who even confessed to being married. Was she under duress or was she coerced to be in the relationship, one wonders?

"This man had made me experience love like I had never felt before. He was like a drug and I was not ready to give him up. I was so in love with him, I disregarded his wife and kids," she confesses.

Incidentally all her close friends discouraged her but Fatma decided to shut out the world as everything now revolved around her jailbird lover.

BETRAYAL

Hannah was only 19 when she got married to her best friend's brother. Unknown to her, the man had another family and she only learnt about it 10 years later and with four kids.

"I was naive and my babies came in quick succession," narrates Hannah. Her in-laws, including her best friend fooled her. They all protected their kin.

"I remember once seeing a message from a lady who said that her son was missing my husband," she says.

If your sweetheart is drowning in debt, it is inevitable that the auctioneers could come knocking one day. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

However, on enquiry her husband told her that he once dated a single mum whose son loved him and he was the boy that was missing him. The boy, however, turned out to be her husband’s first born from his first wife.

Hannah did not think much of it. Every time she was pregnant though, her husband would disappear for the entire nine months until she gave birth. They had a rocky marriage and they would break up and make up.

She suspected her husband was cheating on her but had no evidence. Salvation came in the form of her brother-in-law who gave her a certain name and asked her to check it out on Facebook. She checked out her profile and noticed they had some mutual friends.

Luckily one of the friends was a good friend of Hannah and was very instrumental in getting information. Her husband and that lady, who was actually his first wife, were expecting a child together and he had commented how excited he was on social media.

Karina had no idea the man she had been dating for close to a year was married. His wife, a doctor, was pursuing her doctorate in the US and had travelled with their daughter. She had no reason to suspect anything as she freely visited him in his house.

Says he owns XYZ property? This can be verified at the Land Registry where one can lodge a manual search using the land reference number. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

He had told her he was divorced and was not in touch with his ex-wife. One day, however, out of curiosity or intuition perhaps, she's not sure, Karina decided to search for her boyfriend online. Since they weren't 'friends' on social media she had no source of information on him.

She says she is still trying to recover from the shock of the betrayal after seeing their family pictures and 'her man' commenting how much he misses them.

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What kind of background checks can you undertake?
Ronnie Akedi, an advocate of the High Court, says that when one is in need of information about another party, some information is classified and might not be freely released, while some is general. He shares the sources of information and how one can access them when in need of a background check on your potential spouse.

Does he have a criminal background?

Is he an ex-convict perhaps? Thankfully the Criminal of Investigations Department (CID) have biometric records of anyone who has been arrested and has a criminal record. Those who have gone through the court process have their fingerprints captured electronically and this information is available at the CID. His certificate of good conduct would also come in handy, which you can access by making a formal request with CID since he is a third party.

Does he currently have a court case still running?
If he had divulged information about a court case, which you are not sure about, you can access that information from the court. You will need the court case number though to peruse the file. Any one is allowed to peruse files after paying a perusal fee. This might be easier through an advocate though.

Are you at risk of being auctioned after marriage?

If your sweetheart is drowning in debt, it is inevitable that the auctioneers could come knocking one day. You could access his credit status through the CRB though information is a case by case and at their discretion. You need to show how his credit status can affect you. If for instance you intend to invest with him in the future or you intend to buy property together, his credit status will definitely affect you.

What is his marital status?

If he was married under customary law, it might be an uphill task trying to establish his marital status as no certificate was issued. Besides, these allow more than one spouse. However, if, he had a civil or religious marriage, you can lodge a formal inquiry with the Registrar of Marriages. In such a case, you can avail a marriage certificate or marriage certificate number, which can be authenticated. Of note is that knowing his name only without other details is not sufficient as it would be next to impossible for the Registrar of Marriages to trace him by name owing to the fact that the system is yet to be digitalised.

Did he say he is a widower and even took you to 'her' grave?

You can have a death certificate authenticated at the Civil Registration Department, which is responsible for births and deaths.

Says he owns XYZ property?

This can be verified at the Land Registry where one can lodge a manual search using the land reference number.