6 work place sins that hold your career back

2 women gossiping.

What you need to know:

  • You may blame it on chauvinism, gender inequality, office politics or even a hostile boss, but could you also be to blame for your career stagnation?
  • Certain distinct female behaviours at the workplace could be the reason why you are taking longer to advance in your career.

You may blame it on chauvinism, gender inequality, office politics or even a hostile boss, but could you also be to blame for your career stagnation?

For years, glass ceilings and office-place rivalry have been blamed for the lack of progress in women’s careers. And while, to a large extent, this is true, might there be some distinct female behaviours that also contribute to the perception that women are content in the lower ranks, without too much responsibility, and without the authority.

Certain distinct female behaviours at the workplace could be the reason why you are taking longer to advance in your career. How you go about your day at the office could determine the path your career takes or doesn’t take. Here is an insight into six office habits that you need to shake off so as to move forward.

CONSTANT APOLOGISING

Guilt is hard-wired into the female psyche, and coupled with the women’s need to ‘fix’ things, to avoid confrontation and to keep the peace, you will find a woman constantly apologising even for mistakes she did not make.

“It keeps issues from blowing up and I get along with most people at work,” says Monica, a medical representative who admits to often taking the fall for her team.

Beatrice Kilonzo a human resources consultant at Clovers Management and Training consultants, says that girls are raised to be people pleasers but in the workplace, people take unfair advantage of this.

‘Taking one for the team’ might seem like teamwork – and team-members may be grateful to have someone who takes the fall when they err, but Beatrica explains that while it may make Monica seem nice, apologising for errors she did not make also makes her seem incompetent and may turn out to be the cause of her being skipped over for promotions.

“If you often apologise for mistakes that you didn’t do, you discredit yourself. It’s a sign of insecurity. Employers want to work with people who are confident.”

New behaviour: Trust yourself and your own intelligence enough not to take the fall when somebody else errs. This will boost your confidence and self-esteem. Also learn the art of positive confrontation by asserting yourself.

MOTHERING

Are you one of those women who are in the habit of bringing your co-workers home-made treats? Do you stand up to serve everyone a cup of tea during meetings, or cluck-cluck over unwell colleagues and make sure they go home and get some rest?

Your intentions may be pure and you may become a fixture in the emotional landscape of the office, but when it comes to career advancement, Jacob Ngari, CEO of a local company with at least three decades experience in management and human resources, is of the view that highlighting your femininity in this way will not work for you.

He argues that the corporate world today is competitive and largely masculine, and playing house in the office is thus doing yourself a disservice. “You get seen as someone who wants to clean up after others, not one who needs to be taken seriously,” he says.

New behaviour: Unless your job involves cooking, mothering or advising (think nursing, counseling or being a chef) take every opportunity to highlight your competence instead of your ability to be an emotional rock for your colleagues.

SHOPPING

Yes, we understand that today’s world is extremely busy and fast-paced, and that we don’t always have the time to make it to the supermarket, the tailor or the shoe shop. And so we get creative about shopping.

Thirty-year-old Noelle Kihuria works in a mid-sized advertising firm. During lunch breaks, some ladies from their or different departments go around hawking handbags or underwear for their female colleagues to sample. “It makes shopping convenient. I would never get time to go looking for some of these things,” she says.

Jane Mwangi, who works at a lawyer’s office in Nairobi, does her grocery and clothes shopping online or on the phone, and often has deliveries made to her office at all hours of the day.

And Caroline Mutungi, who works at a media house, has this enduring memory of one of her female colleagues: “She used to ask her tailor to come over and take her measurements at the office – and they would do so right at the reception!” she exclaims. “Our organisation ended up looking like a village market whenever she did that.”

It sure makes life easier when you can shop at your convenience, but is it building or destroying your promotion chances? Mr Ngari observes that while it might not directly affect the quality of output, it definitely taints one’s professional image.

He explains that technical competence is not enough to secure your job, and shopping at the work place is a sign of poor self management. To a manager, it is also a sign other inadequacies that an employee might be having.

New behaviour: Do your personal shopping away from the office.

PERSONAL GOSSIP

Can you utilise the office grapevine to help you get ahead? Most certainly. The fact is, office gossip will always be there, and the key is to use it positively and never shy away from a little politicking.

However, do so wisely. Joining in the chit chat at the tea dispenser may add colour to your dull office life and will go some distance in helping you bond with your workmates, but it wise to first think before you contribute.

“Career success is all about relationships,” counsels Beatrice Kilonzo. Steer clear of harmful gossip especially on personal matters because more often than not, it comes back to you making relations sour and poisoning others against you. Most of the times, the person being talked about will deny the rumours and if they are traced back to you, you become the nuisance.

To a third party, and this may be the person who reviews your performance for promotions, if you are always bantering about this person or the other, it makes you seem unproductive.

However, if you would like to use it positively, listen to what others say in order to keep abreast of any opportunities that may come up that you can use, don’t participate in the trading of personal stories about others (no matter how juicy) and if you think you have achieved something that should be celebrated, whisper it in the right person’s ear and have that information spread like wild fire.

New behaviour: Begin viewing gossip as unhealthy and destructive. It helps if you stay in the loop regarding office politics, keep your ears open for what is going on but do not get involved. It is not your job to fill others in on gossip. Seek the good in a person or situation instead.

DIGITAL FOOTRPRINT

You may imagine otherwise but the people you work with actually see what is going on all day on your computer screen. The contents of your monitor may either affirm your authority or make others rethink your credibility. Bad contents reflect poorly on you as an employee; not the single bad habit, but the cumulative effect of the habit over months or years.

“You are being silently judged,” Barbra Njoki says from experience. Like a lot of women, she resorted to various Facebook pages to vent about her job and her employer. What she did not know was that these secret groups were not so secret and it eventually got her fired.

New behaviour: Restrict your impulses to your free time and when you go on the Internet be careful about what you say about your job or your employer.

WHINING

Everyone knows at least one of them – that employee who is always disgruntled with their duties, the management or the organisation. Rachel Watoni, a social media manager talks about being paired up to conduct an assignment with one such lady late last year.

“She had not a single good thing to say about her job and I wondered why she kept coming every morning,” Rachel recalls.

For her reputation of being bitter, Rachel labeled her co-worker a displeasure to work with and after this assignment, began finding ways to avoid her input.

In addition to affecting your relations with your co-workers, if your boss gets wind of your whining, your commitment is questioned and this gets in the way of your success. Whining may also lead you to create unhealthy relationships with other whiny employees.

New behaviour: Review your workplace relationships. If your friends are negative, ditch them. Practice exhibiting a positive energy as others will take notice, appreciate it and reward it, possibly with a gentle push up the ladder.