Alcohol is not a solution

It was a few days after prices of petrol went up due to the new fuel tax.

It appeared the high prices were already taking a toll on motorists since the roads were unusually clear. I therefore arrived at the clinic rather early at 6.45am.

To my surprise there was a couple already waiting for me.

“I am sincerely sorry for what happened last night, trust me it was not intentional, I swear to God it was not,” the man said as they settled down in the consultation room.

“I have to report this to my parents and my pastor. It is an abomination,” the lady replied. “This doctor will not help you escape this, you have bewitched my only child who may now never grow into a normal person!”

She then broke down and cried uncontrollably. I calmed her down, trying to understand what the issue was.

The lady’s name was Rebecca. She was 36 years old and a housewife. Her husband, Paul, was 46 and a businessman. They had been married for eight years.

“So my erections have not been good and this has been stressing me,” Paul explained.

“That does not warrant behaving like a wild animal, sometimes I wonder what attracted me to an uncultured man like you!” Rachel yelled.

DRINKING

For three years Paul had been having erection problems. He would start having sex then go flat mid-way.

To mitigate this embarrassing situation he had instinctively taken to ejaculating too fast, trying to achieve it before the erection would go. This however only caused Rebecca more frustration because she would be left with no satisfaction.

“So that being the case what happened last night that seems to have devastated your wife?” I asked.

“I have learnt other tricks along the way to cope,” Paul explained. “Alcohol relieves the stress.”

“No, it adds to stress and you know that,” Rebecca interrupted.

Paul had started coming home drunk and demanding for sex. He would have his dysfunctional sex then fall asleep.

According to him, that was a way to escape the stress of poor quality sex.

His wife, however, got fed up and started refusing sex. This made him be unreasonable and aggressive.

“So yesterday he walks into the house at 9.30pm and finds me watching TV with our seven-year-old son,” Rebecca explained.

“In his drunkenness he removes his clothes and jumps on me on the sofa, tearing and removing my clothes!”

Rebecca said she screamed and ordered their son out of the room to save him from seeing them. Paul did his thing and as usual was done in a minute.

WORSENS PROBLEMS

Their son heard all the commotion on the other side of the door. As Paul walked away, the boy ran back to his mother asking if his father had hurt her.

Rebecca broke down as she told her story.

“Sincerely, I did not know what I was doing, please forgive me,” Paul pleaded.

This was a typical case of what alcohol can do when it comes to making judgement on sexual matters.

Alcohol removes inhibitions and makes one bold to pursue sexual urges and desires. Reasoning capacity is lost and the animal in us is awakened.

When sex becomes a problem in marriage some couples resort to alcohol, hoping that it would resolve the problem.

This only worsens the situation given that beyond the loss of judgement that comes with alcohol, most men lose total sexual function after chronic use of alcohol.

“Please help us, I will not do it again, I promise,” Paul pleaded, interrupting my explanation.

Rebecca was adamant that cleansing had to be done to relieve the family of a curse. I referred them to their pastor for this, and enrolled them and their child for counselling.

I also took Paul through a full medical assessment to uncover the cause of his sexual dysfunction. I found him to have a mixture of ED and premature ejaculation.

He was obese with high cholesterol and also had low testosterone. His ED and premature ejaculation were therefore due to obesity, high cholesterol and low testosterone.

As I put him on treatment for these problems, we agreed that he had to stop drinking immediately so that he never attacked his wife again.