Last weekend, my friend was excited to go on a date with this man she has been following online for months.
He is a writer with quite the following on social media. On paper, he is quite the romantic.
She tells me that when she reads his e-mails, it’s as if she is doing a slow dance with him. It’s no wonder she was excited to meet him.
He was just as good-looking as the pictures of him, but far from romantic. He seemed impatient and angry.
When they were done with their meal, he insisted that she pays her share of the bill, which came as a big surprise coming from a man who from his writing, is big on being the ‘man’ in the relationship.
A man who makes his female readers feel like little princesses.
Well, she paid her bill, but she isn’t intending to see him again. I suppose she is waiting for the man who will make her feel like a little princess in real life.
Being one myself, I like to think of dating an artist, the same way a woman would get into a relationship with a bank teller.
Seeing him handling all the money coming into the bank might mislead you into thinking that he has money.
Similarly, beautiful art might mislead you into thinking that its creator has a beautiful personality, or that the man who likes to paint fragile looking women in pink dresses is a gentleman.
From my experience, sometimes the most beautiful art comes from a terrible, terrible place. Art is an escape for a lot of individuals.
What you finally see on a screen or a canvas isn’t always a true reflection of whatever is going on within.
Case in point, American R n B artist R. Kelly wrote and sang some of the most beautiful love songs of our time.
That is why it surprised all of us when it was brought to light that while he was doing this, he could also have been molesting under-age girls.
If you fall for them …
If you want to fall in love, wait until you’ve met a man in flesh and blood.
Don’t be swayed by his art or his online persona. Better still, get offline, get out of your house and meet actual men and women.
Art is not an appropriate gauge of personality when it comes to dating. It is worse than speed dating.
While the latter will give you a quick glimpse of who a man might be, art will deceive you.
If you do fall in love with the art, be open to the possibility that the man has an alter ego who is totally different from this.
If you like him in person, then know that through the course of your relationship, the affair is going to inspire his art.
If he is a painter, he is going to paint you or how you make him feel in one way or another.
If he is a writer, he is going to write about you and your interactions.
You will not always like what he paints or writes or sings. Instead of being upset that he is sharing parts of your relationship, be happy that he is thinking about you.