LIZZIE'S WORLD: Better the devil you know …

By the time Fatma calls me in the evening, I have thought through all the possible scenarios and not been able to come up with a solution to her dilemma: What is she going to do about this whole awful situation with Steve and Louise?

“So are you really planning on staying with him even after all of this?” I ask her. Fatma has had a really high tolerance for her boyfriend’s bad behaviour in the past and I am worried that she is just going to let him get away with this, the ultimate betrayal.

“I don’t know,” she sighs. “I mean… what can I do?”

‘Leave him!’ I want to shout, but time and experience has taught me to let other people make their own decisions without coercing them into doing what I would do.

“In your position there would be no question about it. I would walk away,” I say. “And besides, you’ve been here so many times with Steve… I don’t know how you manage to keep your sanity.”

“Well, there was the time I left him and then he begged me to come back.”

“He said he would change, but he’s gone right back to his old behaviour,” I point out. “Are you sure you want to stay with him?”

“Like I said, I don’t know,” she says.

“Can I ask you something, Fatma?” There is silence on the other end so I take it as a go-ahead. “What does Steve bring to the table that you think is worth staying for?”

There is more silence. I figure that she is thinking about the answer. Then she says: “Well, he is a good provider.”

“Is that all?” I ask when she doesn’t offer anything else.

“And, um… my daughter needs a father and he has been that. He accepted her even though she is not his biological child. He has practically raised her.”

“Is that all?”

“I mean, Liz, I really don’t think I want to start again from scratch, you know?”

“Fatma, I am hearing all these things that Steve does for the family – which are not favours to you. They are his obligations. The price he has to pay to be in a working relationship. But what I am asking is, what does he do for you that makes him so special to you?”

“Liz, I don’t think I want to go back into the dating scene and start the process of getting to know someone and then finding out that he is also a lying, cheating scumbag. And you know these men are all the same. Maybe I should just stick with the one I know.”

“You mean, it’s better to be constantly hurting and possibly in danger of catching a disease than it is to be single and happy?”

“I have never seen a happy single woman,” she laughs sarcastically. “The day I meet one is the day I will become one.”

“Ouch,” I say.

“Are you saying you are happy being single?” she asks rhetorically.

“I mean, obviously everyone wants someone to love and to be loved by, but I am so much better off being by myself than being constantly in pain because of someone else’s thoughtless and selfish actions, you hear me?”

Fatma sighs long and hard. “But of all the people on the planet, Louise? And how could you not know? I thought the two of you were friends?”

“I thought so too,” I sigh sadly. “But you know how secretive she is. She told me that I would meet the lucky guy soon – we just never got round to it. What I want to know is how she did not know that you and Steve were together.”

“I’ve never had any reason to bring him to your office or mention him around her, and I only ever see Louise at work so I guess she didn’t have an opportunity to put two and two together.”

“Yeah …” I say. “I remember her telling me that the father of her child is a born again Christian and that they met in church.”

“Well, Steve’s been going to church quite a bit lately,” Fatma says. “I encouraged him because it seemed to be having a good influence on him – he wasn’t drinking so much, he seemed more focused and loving…” her voice breaks as the pieces of the puzzle begin to fall into place. “Look, can I call you later?” she croaks. “Oh, and do me a favour. Please don’t tell the others until I am ready to do so myself.”

“OK,” I say, and hang up. I hope Fatma will go through all of this and come out okay although to be quite honest… I don’t know how she will pull that off at this point.