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Can a relationship survive cheating?

Saturday September 14 2019

INFIDELITY

With the advancement in technology, it is becoming increasingly easy to step out on your partner. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP 

LILYS NJERU
By LILYS NJERU
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If there is one thing that has the power to wipe off many years of happiness and shatter the grand ambitions of romantic love, infidelity takes top position.

Interestingly, it still holds the key to liberate and empower.

For generations, there have been raging talks on extramarital affairs. In the past, cheating was mostly associated with men and tacitly condoned.

However, now you cannot talk about straying without looping women into the conversation.

A study conducted in 2011 and published in the journal archives of sexual behaviour found out that of the 5,000 respondents, 23 per cent of men and 19 per cent of women had extramarital affairs.

With the advancement in technology, it is becoming increasingly easy to step out.

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HONESTY?

One moment you are going through your Facebook timeline and an ex-boyfriend sends you a friend request.

You accept it and the next day you are playing catch up and organising a date as your partner sits right next to you.

Do one-night stands count? Should you excuse your partner because it happened once? Can you trust them again?

There seems to be no single answer to that. According to the various people we interviewed, people label cheating differently and attach different meanings to it.

As such, some relationships do survive after one partner has cheated while others signal the end.

When Jay–Z cheated on Beyoncé, she stayed and even released an album - Lemonade - talking about it. Jay-Z followed it up with an Apology album before the pair released another album singing how happy they are.

FORGIVENESS

Enters Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson. After allegations of Thompson cheating on Khloe with her friend Jordy Woods, they went separate ways.

If you were a fan of twilight movies, you probably know actress Kristen Stewart. While dating her co-star Robert Pattison, she had a fling with married director Rupert Sanders. She later issued a public apology.

“You look at your children and the far you have come together and you have to put it behind you. My husband of 15 years cheated on me in 2010 and I left my matrimonial home for one year. He was apologetic about it, and seeing how my two children were suffering in the absence of their father, I decided to forgive him,” she shares.

After cheating and feeling bad about it, a new dilemma springs up. Should you tell your partner about it? Will your relationship survive the pain of revelation or it will leave an unfading scar?

If your partner has cheated, what are some of the circumstances that you may forgive? Experts say you can pardon the below:

The cheating is out of character

Maybe your partner found themselves in a compromising situation, or they took one too many bottles than they usually do and lost the moral consciousness.

Your partner feels bad about it than you do

Besides asking for forgiveness, you can tell that your partner is truly sorry for what happened through their actions.

They have probably deleted that dating app and blocked their side partners.

You partner is willing to communicate

Most of our respondents said that they are likely to forgive a cheating partner who is transparent and honest.

However, if both of you cannot hold a meaningful conversation regarding what happened, the relationship might not survive.

Don’t bother if….

This is not the first time he has cheated

If your partner is a perennial adulterer, forgiving them might not stop the behaviour. There are those who cheat because they can and you might end up causing more harm to yourself by putting up with the behaviour.

Treats you badly

If your partner is a habitual cheater and lays the blame on you, that relationship is close to its death bed.

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