Don't get us happy socks this year

Merry Christmas and a happy new year to everyone. Or should I just say Christmas because it's a bit too early to gauge how well New Year will go down?

You must have heard from everywhere and everyone that this is the season of giving. As men we too want gifts; yes we do, but you have to nail the 'it' that we want.

So here goes my little advice to women, particularly the ones thinking of getting us black king's presents during this holiday season.

First, hello to all of you except the ones who are planning to get us cufflinks and socks. You can get your greetings from 1999.

I still don't think those were useful gifts in the last century and they sure as heck aren't suddenly going to be things men should be grateful for today.

Yes, yes, I know it's the thought that counts but not all thoughts are equal. Advice to men: if she buys you socks buy her stockings. She will learn pretty quickly.

THINK THROUGH GIFTS

Ladies, it's time to get the men in your lives useful and thoughtful gifts. And trust me that there are one million options in that wide net.

Did you know that you can buy him Chess masterclasses with Chess legend Garry Kasparov? If he's a gamer, do you know about the Oculus VR headset and how immersive the experience is?

Did you know that you can get a really nice pair of headphones or a music system which you can gift him?

There's also the classic but sure option of getting a watch or a smart device which reminds me that I can't wait for Google Home to be available in Kenya!

All in all, think through the gifts. Google is your friend and just think back to things that he likes.

Now that that small matter is sorted (hopefully for good), let me declare that 2019 was a great year for me.

Okay, mostly the second half. Who knew I would be giving my half-baked opinions to a national audience and that people would be loving them?

DISCIPLINE

One of the strangest things I have been realising is that people actually read this column, and you only realise this when you meet them in person.

I've had the most heart-warming experiences meeting people in person who know me from the column.

I've met people in bars and restaurants. The most recent one being a chap called Kim who I met at Chicken Inn on a random day.

It's honestly been a great break from the fears I had four months ago. It was a tough start.

I read the endless comments about how I wasn't like my predecessors. I could see the arguments in writer's groups and even the quiet ones in the editor's pool.

But I got up each time and even when I felt no motivation, I relied on discipline. That and the need for a paycheck. That always yields solid discipline.

There's more. I got into NYU (a top-ranking US university) for my master's next year. I only need to get the money!

SOURCE OF INSPIRATION

Goodness knows where I'm going to get it. I've also met amazing people who have shown me love, much more than people I've known for years.

It's also been a great time to talk, listen and learn from men. Last week I got to listen to this boda-boda rider that believed that women's use of contraceptives harms men more.

He would not allow his wife to use birth control as it would cause him unspecified aches and pains and malaria-like symptoms.

Above all that they would affect his sexual performance. I was bewildered and bemused. But more than that, I was glad that we had an honest conversation as that's the greatest source of inspiration for writing stories about men- from men.

When I started writing this column earlier this year, activist Boniface Mwangi 'Wa Nguruwe' gave me invaluable advice.

Two things stood out. One, don't be afraid to say things as they are and two to be observant because that's where the best ideas will come from. He was right.

REFLECTIVE HOLIDAY

I encourage you to talk to me. "Talk to me ladies, talk to me" - in a Maina Kageni voice.

For now, the summer bunnies are here aka my cousins' Boy Gash and Wambui, and I am certain this Christmas will be a party.

The two 'twengstars' have already made clear their intentions of killing us with alcohol. I've already predicted that I'm going to need a full week of recovery. I am readying myself.

Have yourselves a safe and fun Christmas. I beseech you in the name of Enkai, don't drink and drive.