Don’t hire a boyfriend this Christmas

Don't hire a boyfriend this Christmas. PHOTO | FOTOSEARCH

What you need to know:

  • There’s a lot of pressure for the woman on the other side of 25 to be ‘claimed’ by a man.
  • Seeing as we are still raising girls to be wives, I don’t think that this is going away any time soon.

There’s a poster that made its way into my WhatsApp inbox this week. On it, alongside a photo of a dashing young man, is an advert promising tall, dark, handsome and God-fearing men for hire to keep off nosy relatives during the holidays. I think it’s meant to be a joke but it’s still very enterprising.

It reminded me of a West African pastor who, several weeks ago, convinced thousands of women to pay thousands of shillings for a prayer retreat that guaranteed each would be married in 90 days. As soon as the retreat was done, he bought a Ferrari. I am not sure how many women got married.

It’s that time of the year again when the unwed Kenyan woman dreads going home for family gatherings because she will no doubt be bombarded with questions about why she is not giving her aunties something to celebrate.

It won’t matter that she’s just gotten a huge promotion at work or that she just graduated with her second master’s degree. There will be someone seeking to know where the man is.

I don’t know how many would go as far as hiring a boyfriend this season but I am sure that there is a Kenyan woman somewhere who, although her relationship died weeks ago, is holding on just so she has someone by her side during those family gatherings.

I am sure that there is a woman who will lie about being in a relationship, who will lie about the break up that happened last April. She will tell everyone that Mark is away on a work assignment while Mark will really be miles away with his new catch.

YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE

There’s a lot of pressure for the woman on the other side of 25 to be ‘claimed’ by a man. Seeing as we are still raising girls to be wives, I don’t think that this is going away any time soon.

If you happen to be this woman and you are already thinking of the excuses you will give for being single when you visit your relatives, stop.

First, you do not owe anyone an explanation for the way you choose to live your life unless the choices you make directly affect them. Your breaking up with the lying and cheating Kevin has nothing to do with your auntie’s neighbour, so stop.

It will also please you to know that no matter how well thought out your decisions are, no matter how right they feel, you can’t please everyone.

You could give in to this pressure. You could even grudgingly get into a relationship with the man they handpicked for you but they will still see a problem.

They will wait two months and then start asking why you aren’t having babies yet. Or why you have only one. It’s an impossible task staying in everyone’s good books.

Go home this Christmas and if anyone asks, tell them your truth. Tell them that you aren’t thinking about that yet, tell them you haven’t met anyone yet. Tell your truth and set yourself free.