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Catching cheaters

On reading the main feature last weekend I was amazed at how technology works to help catch cheaters. It would be good if we used technology in a positive way to make our work easier and not as a means of provoking jealousy and hatred. I could be wrong, but I dare say that technology is the biggest enemy of relationships.

The moment one person decides to track his/her partner, it means that there is no more love in that relationship; in fact what is left is mistrust. Moreover, as soon as one realises that he or she is being tracked he/she also loses trust in his/her partner.

In that case, what is the point of being in a relationship where you don’t trust each other? And what is the point of tracking your partner?

What follows after catching him/her cheating? At the end of the day, it doesn’t help to mend relationships. As much as we are proud of advanced technology, the technological revolution is taking us down and out. To avoid this, we should use technology in the rightful way.

Harriet Kisali, Kakamega

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The main feature made for interesting reading. It was the stuff of James Bond movies, but in this case the feature examined real scenarios.

Technology has made it easy to snoop on others hence a cheating spouse would find it harder to go on his or her escapades undetected.

However, I wonder why anyone would want to be unfaithful in the first place.

Alnashir D Walji, Nairobi

(READ: To catch a cheating spouse)

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Wishing exes ill

Jackson Biko’s article about his feelings towards his exes hit the nail on the head. He is not alone. I was once in a relationship where my girlfriend walked out on me without a cause. She left me devastated, desperate and miserable, so how on earth can I wish her peace of mind?

All the same, I haven’t prayed for her nor cursed her, I just let her be. But truth be told, I wouldn’t want her to have a good life where everything is just fine.

Somehow I find myself wishing that she is ridden with debts and that if she gets married, I wish that she will fight constantly with her husband. The funny thing is that I still love her and if she came back, I would take her back.

Simon M, via email

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At times we are forced to wish our exes ill especially if they walked out on us. But this is unbecoming of a man who considers himself a gentleman.

Breaking up means you were incompatible, so it shouldn’t make you enemies with your ex. We should wish our exes well from the bottom of our hearts, especially because they know many intimate details about us.

Calvin Queens, via email

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I bet everyone is a green-eyed monster when it comes to exes! We never want success for them, never want to see them moving on to better relationships and we pray bad things upon them.

However, it is better to let go and move on without ill feelings. In fact, the more we envy our exes the more we get tempted to go back to them and the more we spoil our new relationships. An ex should be an ex. Don’t stop long enough to notice their glowing faces, let alone to hear all about their new partners.

Betty Rono, Egerton

(READ: Why I don’t wish my exes well)

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When I read Jackson Biko’s column on 30th March where he tackled the topic of second wives, I couldn’t help but shudder. In fact I was aghast. I am going on 50 and after reading that article I am now convinced that there is something the matter with the young generation of urban men.

According to Biko, it is okay to put up with a conceited, arrogant and demeaning attitude from a ‘wife’. That seems to be normal in Biko’s gospel. Never mind that he suggested that this is the consequence of a man bringing home a second ‘helper’! I gather that the young male generation of this age are a bunch of sissies; yes-men to their spouses.

They have allowed wives to become unmitigated, condescending tyrants. Pray tell, then what value do these so called wives add to the men’s lives? The polygamy issue aside, is this what a nuclear family has become? A terrorist wife lording over an absolutely pathetic gutless husband?

God help us! What a horde of henpecked sissies our young men of today are! I weep for these spineless lads and would never wish my son to grow up into such a hopeless adult male.

Disappointed Man, Nairobi

(READ: Two much to handle)

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Be the driver of your financial vehicle

I agree with Waceke Nduati Omanga’s sentiments on the importance of taking charge of your investments. When it comes to business, leading from the back doesn’t work. It is only when you are at the forefront that your investments can bloom and bear fruit. As much as you should take advice from others, you shouldn’t let them make decisions for you if at all you are focused and aspire to excel.

Business adventure demands for more commitment, resilience and patience. It will not be a waste of time for an investor to conduct thorough research on the different kinds of investments he is interested in.

Being the driver means that you need to be always there to show the way and the direction you want your business to take. If you are running a business, don’t be a spectator -- just get involved and watch your it grow. Be a participator and be the part of the game. A driver is always more alert than the passenger and notices whatever happens on the way so that he can take the best action.

Franklin Mukembu, Kajuki Nithi

(READ: What it really means to be financially free)

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