Glamorous at every  decade

Yvonne Haika, 31, Akello Oliech, 43, and Mary Njoroge,55, share their wisdom, experiences and beauty secrets. PHOTOS| COURTESY

What you need to know:

  • Soni Kanake spoke to three women who talk about what hitting their milestone birthdays means to them, and the wisdom they have learned thus far.

Ageing gracefully is a beautiful thing, not to mention the freedom that comes with maturity. While some women might get offended when asked

about their age, others cannot wait to celebrate their defining birthdays. Soni Kanake spoke to three women who talk about what hitting their

milestone birthdays means to them, and the wisdom they have learned thus far.

Yvonne Haika, 31

Yvonne turned 30 with much aplomb. “I had three parties back to back on three consecutive weekends!” she says. “I’m not an emotional person but these parties got me quite emotional,” she adds. “30 is a totally different level. Your mind and body changes. You feel more mature.”

Yvonne is a TV producer and script writer. She confesses to having experienced mixed emotions before her birthday: she was excited and scared at the same time. And then she embraced it.

“Those who say life begins at 40 lie. Life begins at 30! It is that chapter in your life that defines how your next chapter turns out,” she says. “In your 30s you can afford to take more risks.”

For example Yvonne, who is a naturally shy girl, is slowly getting out of her cocoon. “I’m an introvert and love my ‘me time’,” says Yvonne. She is more accommodating of people, which she associates with the maturity that comes with age.

She no longer chases after friends; relationships are two-way and when you find that you are the one always calling or texting, maybe it’s time to accept they don’t value you as much. “The best thing about turning 30 is that you care less about what people think and no longer walk on eggshells,” she says.

Yvonne laughs when she remembers she had her life all planned out by the time she hit 30. “I had told myself I would be happily married, settled with two or three kids and with my own video production company. I had also hoped to own a car by then. Fortunately, I bought my first car before 30 and had my son, Kasha Karanja at 25. Marriage is however, still work in progress,” she says. “I had also hoped to have my degree by then but parenting took centre stage and that is one of the projects I hope to accomplish in my 30s.”

She confesses that she never saw the need to look good before despite her sister, a make-up artiste, encouraging her to. “My mindset has changed and these days I will make time to even ‘draw’ my eyebrows,” says Yvonne as she bursts in laughter. “I realised that when I dress well, I feel more confident and ooze positivity, not to mention the compliments.” In addition, she takes walks with her boyfriend. “I also drink more water and watch what I eat, and try to cut down on fast foods.”

While in your 20s, Yvonne believes we can afford to make mistakes but we should learn from them. “In the 30s one should avoid the same toxic friends they had in their 20s and should not date the same losers they dated when they did not know better,” she says. “Those in their 20s should not be worried thoughm as mistakes are bound to happen. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to live a certain way because you can see your pals living that way. Live your life. Be happy. Pray.”

 

Akello Oliech, 43

Turning 40 did not seem to ruffle Akello Oliech who could not help but think of the many who never live to see 40. “It reminded me of the blessed years I have lived. I am much wiser and therefore have great pleasure in mentoring the young,” she says.

Akello is happy about her achievements this far. “My husband and I have set up a company to impact lives through creativity, books, events, content production, the media and social projects,” she says. “Our vision is big so definitely still more work to be done. We hope the vision will outlive us.” 

She is, however, nolstagic about her younger days. “I miss the care-free Akello in my 20’s and the fact that I had more time to myself. These days, time seems to go so fast with so many lives to touch and a grand vision to accomplish.”

She feels the 40s are a good place to be.”I am definitely wiser, stronger and with a better view of life and people’s unique journey,” she says. “Also, I am more spiritually alive and at a place of peace.”

As most women age, they are less likely to reveal their true ages. “When you let aging scare you, then that stress is what will make you age faster,” she says. “There is no point in wasting precious time worrying. When you make aging your friend, you glow; you shine how you ought to shine. Let life just happen! Cherish it.”

To celebrate her 40th, Akello opted for a low-key evening with her loved ones. “I am a family woman and I like things intimate,” she says. “I just had a small intimate dinner out with family and close friends,” says Akello.

Despite having a clear complexion, Akello says she does not have a beauty regimen. “Many say I look younger than my age and wonder what my secret is,” she says. “The secret is having a good relationship with God, avoiding negativity, having a positive attitude and being at peace,” she says. “Beauty starts from the inside.”

The thing about being in her 40s is that the things that used to bother her don’t anymore. “Experience makes one have a better perspective,” she says. “This is also the time to enjoy the fruits of the years gone by and gear up for new challenges and opportunities.”

A lot of people subscribe to the clichè that life begins at 40. Akello disagrees. “Life begins when you want it to begin,” she says. “It begins when you choose to live for you and for your purpose.”

According to Akello, when a woman is in her 40s, it is prudent to be more health conscious because the body is starting to get comfortable. “There is also little time for mistakes and a lot of people depend on you, not just family,” she says. “You need to balance it all.”

What advice would she give to a 20-year-old Akello? “Enjoy each season of life. Don’t rush. Breathe. Smell the flowers. Be in the moment.”

 

Mary Njoroge, 55

“Being in my 50s is a good place to be,” says Mary Njoroge, a teacher who has taught for the last three decades. “Growing old does not scare me because eventually, everyone grows old.” Mary observes that a growing number of women look older than their actual ages because they have allowed themselves to be branded as such. “A woman suddenly stops having fun because she has hit 50 and decides she is too old,” says Mary. “I have managed to keep active throughout the decades because I engage myself in physical activities,” she says. You will find her running with the children in school and sometimes beating them in running. “Playing with the kids makes me feel young,” she says.

How did she celebrate her 50th birthday, one wonders. “I enjoy good company, so I invited my friends and we had one big party. Fifty is a major milestone. It is half way down a century.” However when she turned 55 she I held “the mother of all bashes, as it coincided with the opening of my house. One of the most important thing about the 50s is you are supposed to be settled,” she says. “In an ideal situation you should have been done with educating the kids so you can retire peacefully,” says Mary. She notes that as one approaches the 50s and beyond and they still have kids in school, it may be a source of stress since they are nearing retirement. “I’m also grateful to God because my two children have been good and obedient and have not given me much heartache,” she says.

Mary believes the ageing process begins in the mind. “You are as old or as young as you feel,” she says. “That is why you will find a young woman in her 30s old and weary and an old man in his 60s still raring to go,” says Mary. “Take care of yourself in your younger years and your body will reward you in your older years.” Women, Mary notes, are tempted to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. “Purpose to live a stress-free life,” she says. “I live for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.”

Freedom from stress can only be achieved if you do everything at the right time, she adds. “Life is in stages and if you skip a stage, you will be forced to go back. That is why you will find old women like me going for Ben 10s,” she says amidst laughter. She says she is glad she did all she was supposed to do at every decade and even though she reminisces about her youth.

Mary, however, confesses that she is yearning to be a grandma. “I want to be a ‘shosh’ before I’m too old so that I can still be able to run around and play with the kids. My children don’t seem to be in a hurry to give me grandkids, though,” she laughs.

She says for a woman in her 50s to keep looking good, one has to take care of themselves. She drives home from school but ensures she takes walks in the evenings. “On a hot day, I will go swimming for about two hours. I will then relax, enjoy my drinks and go home. The beauty about hitting 50 is that you are so liberated you couldn’t care about other people’s opinions.”

Mary says she’s noticed she has become more spiritual and does not let petty issues bother her. “I will not carry offence and will forgive more easily today,” she notes. “I’m in a good place and I’m totally enjoying the ride.”