He is married and wants me to get a baby by him

I am 38 and dating a married man. I like his company and I am comfortable being his mistress. I have two beautiful children from a past relationship. My problem is he wants me to bear him a child. I closed the chapter of kids with my two, and I really don’t feel like getting another child. He says he is ready to cater for his child fully. I told him I don’t want another child, and now he is not talking to me. What do you think I should do? I want him back, but I don’t want a baby. I do not want to date a single guy, neither do I want to get married.

READERS’ ADVICE:

In every relationship there must be some sort of understanding for it to work. You must have closed the chapter for child bearing but the person you are in love with is looking for a child out of the relationship.

Choices have consequences. Choose wisely, taking into consideration your partner’s feelings.

Wairimu Itote

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It is not clear why your married boyfriend insists on having a child with you. Could it be a selfish move to keep you hooked to him?

Getting a child out of coercion will only complicate things for you. It would be wise to stand your ground. Let him understand the terms of your relationship.

Refusing to speak to you is meant to intimidate you. If he does not agree with your decision, think twice.

John Wambugu

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You don't want a single man neither do you want to get married. You also don’t want your sponsor’s child. I am sorry but you must be in the top five gold diggers in this country.

My advice to you is that even if you don't want to get married, keep off married men.

Ken Gideon

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If he wants you to bare him a child and he will take care of it fully, he has to start with your other two children then it would make sense to bear another child. It’s tricky. You will soon be a single mother of three. Don't be fooled.

Miriam Wambui

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It takes two to tangle. You are both confused and clearly this isn't working out at all. Wisdom says when it’s not working walk away.

The decision has been made for you. I would advise that you take time to reflect on what you really want because many married men will walk in and out of your life.

Sometimes you just have to admit that you are enough and deserve better. This situation here is so messed up because it’s full of selfish decisions and confused people.

Patience Mpamizo

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The man is tired of taking care of three strangers. He wants to have his own kid from your womb to take care of.

Richard Sultan

NEXT WEEK DILEMMA

Hello, I a man aged 29 and working. My girlfriend of one-year is four months pregnant. We had not planned for the pregnancy, so it was sort of a surprise.

Now my problem is that I do not think she is the one. I do not want to marry her. Our parents who are acquitted, on the other hand, are putting pressure on us to get married.

Our parents are church leaders, and in fact her dad is a pastor in our church. So, this will bring shame to all our families. I feel so cornered. What should I do?