How do I win back my ex-boyfriend?

I have never been able to get over him, and I think our relationship was meant to be. I want him back. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • It is not like flicking a switch; you can’t just win over a man especially if your break up was under irreconcilable differences.
  • You may not be over him but the truth is he may have moved on fully with no chance of rekindling what you once had.
  • That said, I would advise that you check up on him and if possible, ask him out on a date to evaluate whether there are any lingering feelings.

My boyfriend and I broke up a year ago after two years of dating. I have never been able to get over him, and I think our relationship was meant to be. I want him back. Please advise the best way to win a man’s heart back after a break up.

 

READERS' ADVICE:

A whole year without communication for people who were once lovers is enough for you to conclude that there is nothing there; yours is simply a desperate attempt which stands to puncture your love life even more.

The guy did find his preferred choice and has since moved on, and so should you. Good luck in your next search. Andrew Kiriago, via email.

 

You have not mentioned the reasons behind your break up even though you dated for two years, which is commendable. At this point you only need to have a one-on-one chat with him and try to lay down all the reasons that can make your relationship start afresh. If it was meant to be like you claim, then I believe he will give it a second thought and work on it. But in case he denies you another chance, then you have nothing else to do but to move on and wait for another man. You do not want to look desperate. Juma Felix, via email.

 

You haven’t mentioned that your ex is also interested in getting back with you. The best thing is to accept that the relationship is over. The pain you feel is normal but don’t let feelings control you. Breaking up is part of life so accept the reality. Keep your distance. Don’t even consider

Expert advice

MAURICE MATHEKA, A RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLOR ANSWERS:

It is not like flicking a switch; you can’t just win over a man especially if your break up was under irreconcilable differences.

You may not be over him but the truth is he may have moved on fully with no chance of rekindling what you once had.

That said, I would advise that you check up on him and if possible, ask him out on a date to evaluate whether there are any lingering feelings.

If you still have feelings for him you must be willing to take that risk to find out otherwise you will never know what could have been. But you must also be ready for disappointment in case you find he loves another, or he just can’t return to you.