Is my man on the rebound?

I have been single for two years. I recently met a guy who has been separated from his wife for eight months and he says he is gearing up to file for a divorce.

My problem is that I am now ready for a long-term commitment and marriage, and I feel like a man who is only eight months out of a serious relationship can only be on the rebound.

This man says he loves me – but again, I feel like he may not understand his emotions and maybe he thinks he is in love while in actuality, he is merely infatuated or on the rebound. How can I tell his true feelings? If he were longer past the divorce I would fall for him as he is perfect in every other way, but I am really confused. Please help.

READERS ADVICE:

Trust your instincts. If you feel this guy is on the rebound please don’t board. If he has not filed for divorce yet, what if he makes up with the wife? This is just separation. Don’t be desperate even if you are ready for long-term commitment and marriage.  Mercy Baiyenia, Meru.

Just because he has been out of marriage for eight months does not mean he doesn’t deserve a single woman like you. People fall out of love for various reasons but still find love after the break up. Consider taking enough time to learn more about him, which includes his genuine commitments and how he treats you. You do not want to fall in the trap that is going to ruin your relationship engagements. If he is perfect in every other way like you say then it’s only time that will take you to the right direction with him. Juma Felix, via email.

Your situation is tricky. You are dating man who has just separated from his marriage. There are those who heal immediately while others really take a while to heal. I do not feel that eight months is quite enough to heal. For your heart’s sake, let this man obtain a divorce before going to any extra mile. This may save you the pain and agony of having to get married as a second wife after a rebound. Control your emotions to avoid a love torture. Calvin Queens, via email.

EXPERT ADVICE

Maurice Matheka, a Considering you only recently met the man, your primary agenda should be to get to know him as you court.

It is true that he may not be ready for a scale relationship but in truth, which man really is?

You could as easily commit to a single man but your relationship fails because you did not date long enough to learn the negatives, not just the positives of a person.

It is important to initially explore your potential future partner rather than have the mentality that by tagging your relationship, things will automatically fall into place.

Get to know him, know his true nature and better yet, find out what he has learned about marriage and especially what he deems as the failures in marriage so that you can evaluate his logic compared to your assumptions and expectations.