I met this 28-year-old the other day. She has two beautiful children, both boys. She is expecting her third and has been hoping for a little girl.
On this day, she had come from a sonographer’s office, heart-broken to learn that she is having yet another boy. I am sure she wishes she kept these feelings of disappointment to herself because the reaction she got from her friends was not supportive.
Most of them called her ungrateful for not being over the moon and yet there are women out there who can’t even conceive. She was called a bad mother and then one woman suggested that she prays so that the gender of the baby in her belly can change.
I will not go into the hypocrisy we all seem to carry around because I’m certain when she is first told that she is expecting, every woman has an image of what she hopes this child will be like.
What I can’t seem to get on board with is the accusation that a woman is ungrateful if she ever wants more out of life than she already has. The truth is that dissatisfaction is a good thing. Wanting more out of life is one of the most effective forms of motivation.
This unhealthy attitude has spilled over into our finances. While we all spend a big part of our day chasing after it, we have voices at the back of our minds whispering that it’s wrong to want money or to have a desire for wealth. It’s no wonder our society is constantly blaming the rich for all our problems. When a wealthy person comes into misfortune, we say that it’s nature doing the balancing.
The truth is that there is nothing wrong with wanting to have more money in your bank accounts than you do now. More money will give you so many more choices than you have now and that is never a bad thing.
It is alright to want more than motherhood. You do not have a reason to feel guilty for leaving your child in the care of someone else to go back to work. If, however, you feel fulfilled when you are out there exploring your other many talents on top of being a nurturer, you are not ungrateful.
If you feel driven to get more than you already have, go for it. It means that you are succeeding at beating the fear of failure, the fear of the unknown and that desire to stay in your comfort zone which keeps a lot of people from exploring their full potential.
Want more. Want to be more. And if all you ever wanted was a little girl to raise, do not feel guilty for having this desire or even Googling to see if there are ways to tip the scales in your favour.