The truth comes tumbling out

Suddenly we are at the nursery display window, and Steve motions for me to wait there as he enters the nursery, picks up his new daughter from her crib. I watch his face as he does so; there’s such a look of love and adoration in his eyes. ILLUSTRATION | JOSEPH NGARI

What you need to know:

  • I am worried about the state of my friend Fatma’s relationship. I have to get to the bottom of what is happening with Steve and my workmate Louise.
  • Steve motions for me to wait there as he enters the nursery, picks up his new daughter from her crib. I watch his face as he does so; there’s such a look of love and adoration in his eyes that for a moment, I want to forgive him the world of hurt that he has caused my friend.
  • He brings his child to the window to show her to me and I am struck by how beautiful, innocent and calm she is. I sigh. “Well, you know that Louise and I work together, and Fatma is my best friend. This puts me in a very awkward position.”

“Ok, you’ve caught me Liz,” Steve says somberly as we walk towards the nursery. I can see anxious, happy new fathers making their way back and forth all around us, accompanied by tired but satisfied mothers and other family members. On any other occasion this scene would warm my heart but today, I am worried about the state of my friend Fatma’s relationship. I have to get to the bottom of what is happening with Steve and my workmate Louise.

“Ehe? I’m listening,” I say sternly.

Steve takes a deep breath. “You know Fatma and I have been trying to have a child… We haven’t been successful.” I scan his face as he speaks; while I am used to Steve looking angry, menacing, hostile, I have never seen him look as broken and vulnerable as he does now. “I have tried to be patient with her. Very patient. But we went to the doctor a few months ago and he said it would be difficult for Fatma to conceive again.”

I nod. I am almost touched enough to want to reach out and rub his arm reassuringly. But I don’t. I continue to listen.

“I was heart-broken. I have always wanted a little boy… You know Fatma has her daughter but… I have no children of my own.” I can almost understand how he feels. “Someone to continue my line. So when I met Louise and she told me she was hoping to start a family too, I saw my chance. I mean…” he stops and grips my arm to turn me around to face him, “…I knew what I was doing was wrong, but…” and his face curls up in pain, “…here was an opportunity I couldn’t miss.” We turn and keep walking, this time in silence as I digest what he has just told me.

AWKWARD POSITION

Suddenly we are at the nursery display window, and Steve motions for me to wait there as he enters the nursery, picks up his new daughter from her crib. I watch his face as he does so; there’s such a look of love and adoration in his eyes that for a moment, I want to forgive him the world of hurt that he has caused my friend. He brings his child to the window to show her to me and I am struck by how beautiful, innocent and calm she is. Suddenly a wave of brooding takes over me, and I wonder if this will ever be my experience as well.

I watch as Steve lays her back in her crib and puts a finger to her cheek, softly rubbing it, and then mouths ‘see you later’ towards her. Then he looks up at me. There’s a softness in his eyes that I have never seen before. This is not an experience I want to deny him. I nod my approval, and he turns to leave and join me on the other side of the window.

“So you see,” he continues, “there was no way I could resist that.” Now we are both staring at his baby, asleep in her crib, as she smiles one of those baby smiles that may not be a smile but a reaction to some leftover memory from her womb.

I sigh. “Well, you know that Louise and I work together, and Fatma is my best friend. This puts me in a very awkward position.”

“I didn’t know you work there, Louise never mentioned her colleagues to me,” Steve says.

“And Fatma didn’t mention that she is one of our suppliers?”

“I mean… we don’t really discuss work at home,”

“Hmm,” I say. It sounds a little far-fetched but what to do? “So when are you going to tell Fatma?”

“Tell her what?” Steve turns me quickly, looking panicky.

“That you have fathered a child with another woman?” I say flatly.

“Oh, God, Liz, this will break her heart.”

“Something you should have thought about before you went fathering little girls with other women.”

“I thought you understood my position!”

“If you don’t tell her I will,” I say. I am not making threats. I am stating a fact. I will never be able to live with myself if I don’t tell Fatma the truth.

“Ok, fine,” he sighs. “I’ll let her know.”

I nod my head, happy with his response right now. Let’s wait and see if he actually does tell Fatma.