PLAIN TRUTH: Let go of what you think should happen

Friday March 17 2017

Expectations will break your heart and cause

Expectations will break your heart and cause you to lose the joy you should be deriving from accepting your life as it is.  PHOTO | FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP 

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I have this friend who, at a glance, can seem like a social deviant at best and a little unstable at worst. I find her fascinating – not just because she keeps pushing the limits, but because ‘that is how it is’ or ‘that is how it should be’ is never a sufficient answer for her. “According to whom?” she will ask you. This question can get you tongue-tied the first time it is directed at you, but it also gets you thinking about what could be if you let go of what you think should be. From my view pint, this woman is leading an immensely fulfilling life.

We all go into our careers thinking that there is a particular path they should take. And so we relentlessly chase this path with all we have. Because we are so consumed with the image of what we think should happen and the promotions we think we should get, we do not stop to think about where our careers are leading us. While you are here working in marketing and getting stressed at the raise you are not getting because you imagine that is the path your career should take, you are oblivious of the fact that your personality doesn’t complement this career in the first place – that maybe you would thrive in business instead.


I think that a big number of women who are online everyday bemoaning the bad state of their relationships aren’t actually in bad relationships. It’s just that their relationships aren’t going the way they think they should be. So you have this image in your head, often from observing other couples on social media or on television, of how you think your man should be. You are then devastated when he doesn’t have pictures of you all over his page, when he doesn’t buy you an expensive push present after delivery, or when he doesn’t meet the standards society around you has helped you set for him.

The truth is that your man will never really act exactly like you think he should. Your life will rarely take the exact path you think it should. A lot of things you think shouldn’t happen will happen. You can’t prevent them from happening but you can spare yourself a lot of heartache and a lot of time spent moaning about your life by letting go of these imposed expectations. Try creating your own standards for yourself and for those around you, according to your needs.

Let go of the image you have in your head of how you think life should be. Let go of what seems like the next most logical step. Let go of societal expectations. Maybe, unlike everyone else, you do not get to start your own business until you are 50. Maybe true love comes your way 10 years after the divorce, and maybe true love comes but only stays a little because he can’t stay. Who is to say that you can only find happiness if you follow a particular path?