Obesity can kill your intimacy

Andrew and Rose came to the sexology Clinic to seek help for what they described as a crisis in the bedroom. They were both concerned because their sexual activity had greatly declined, both in quantity and quality.

“We do it like once in two months, and even then it is not satisfying at all,” Andrew explained.

“Just be truthful to the doctor, you go flat on me and sex has not really happened for the last two years,” Rose interjected.

“But even you, is it not true that you never have the desire?” Andrew shouted. “Let’s just say that you also have a problem and it is possible my body is reacting to your problem.” I intervened to arrest the argument and get the information I needed to make a diagnosis.

Andrew, a pharmacist, was 46 years old. Rose was a 42-year-old business lady. The couple had been married for 10 years and had two children.

I interrogated and examined each of them. The main finding for both Andrew and Rose was that they were obese, per their BMIs. Andrew was more obese than Rose though. I ordered a number of tests to find out the extent to which the obesity had impacted their health.

“But doctor, I really do not understand why you are ordering too many costly tests,” Andrew exclaimed.

UNAWARE OF THE DANGERS OF OBESITY

Andrew was just confirming that like many people around the world, he was not aware of the dangers of obesity. If only people knew that excessive weight kills sex desire, sexual drive and sexual performance, they would run into the nearest gym.

Weight mostly affects men’s sexual performance, but women are also affected to a certain extent.

For one, excessive weight alters the functioning of the body. Cholesterol rises in the blood of the affected person. This is followed by resistance to insulin, leading to diabetes. A combination of high cholesterol and diabetes leads to clogging and damage of blood vessels, especially those of the penis and the clitoris.

In men, this leads to dwindling penile erections. In women, the result is reduced sensitivity of the clitoris.

The second effect of excess body weight is on testosterone levels in blood. Testosterone is the hormone responsible for sexual desire and performance. Contrary to belief that testosterone is a male hormone, women also have their share of testosterone – enough to stimulate sexual desire and performance.

In obesity, a protein called sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG) is raised in the body and literally mops up testosterone, reducing its sex stimulation activity.

And so obese people have ongoing damage to blood vessels, especially those of the genitals. When the blood vessels are damaged the nerves die off due to lack of blood. Concurrently, testosterone activity is lowered in obesity as the SHBG mops up the hormone. The result is lack of sex desire, dwindling erections leading to diminishing sexual performance and inability to orgasm. Overall, about 30 per cent of obese men and women have sexual dysfunctions.

LOVE YOURSELF

One more thing that complicates obesity is poor self-image. Most obese people develop hate for their bodies. This poor body image makes obese people lose self-confidence. What people need to know is that ability to enjoy sex is based on how much you love and care for your body.

You cannot be loved by others if you do not love yourself.

“But you cannot avoid self-loathing if you look like a bag of potatoes, doctor!” Rose said. Well, the first step of healing from obesity is to accept that there is a problem. This is the beginning into working out a solution.

The couple’s lab results were ready in three days and they came back for review. Andrew’s cholesterol was quite high. His SHBG was also raised. Blood sugar was normal. Rose’s results were all normal.

I put them on a treatment schedule that involved physical exercises and dieting. They were to each lose about 2kg per month over 12 months. After a few weeks of struggling we started seeing positive signs on weight loss.

After only three months, sexual function had improved tremendously. This gave the couple motivation to continue on the weight loss journey until they met the set target.

It was yet another reminder that obesity is evil and not only leads to killer diseases such as stroke and heart attack but quite literally attacks well below the belt.