PLAIN TRUTH: How not to conduct yourself at work

Dear office seductress,

We see you. We see you with your sneaky, sly ways. We see the flirting, the flattery and the fake tears when things do not go your way. How you play up parts of your body to move up the ladder is not lost on anyone. And by ‘we’, I mean all those women who are working hard, long, and smart both at the office and in lecture halls to close the gender gap in the workplace. Women who want to be seen as people first before they are seen as women. Women who, in a professional setting, want to be recognised for their professional skills and their brains.

You, my dear, are watering down our efforts. I am not going to get into the moral debate of what you should or shouldn’t be doing with your body; you are an adult woman and you know what is best for you.

My concern is how your choices are affecting the rest of us. I am concerned that for as long as you are giving sexual favours to get ahead, then women are going to be seen as sexual objects. Women are going to be expected to smile, give their company or even sexual favours so that they can be given what they have already earned through their professional output.

A few days ago I was reminded just how deep-rooted this stereotype that your actions are reinforcing is – the assumption that a woman can’t be young and remotely attractive and be successful without having a man pulling the strings. I was having lunch with two sensible gentlemen, talking about getting raises and other perks. When I started to give my opinion on how hard or easy that is, I was shut down with, “You do not know hard it is, you are a woman. You can have a godfather.”

You are, in part, to blame for this. Because of you, my professionalism, my work ethic and my dedication doesn’t seem to matter. It has all been reduced to what else I can offer as a woman. To how well I can smile, who I can agree to have lunch with or agree to do other things with outside the office.

A woman’s got to do what a woman’s got to do, right? Well, I don’t think that you have looked at the big picture. You are not just jeopardising other women but yourself as well. Your colleagues know you are getting special treatment and they resent you for it but I guess you already knew that. What you might not know is that you aren’t really free. That man you are cozying up to will always have something over your head. You are giving him power to bring you down that ladder at will.

By sleeping your way up, you are sleeping all of us down the ladder.

Yours truly,

Concerned, hard-working woman.