PERSONAL FINANCE: How inheritance can rob your child

I am a parent. Like many other parents, I sometimes fall in the trap of thinking that the best thing I can do for my children is to give them everything. I don’t want them to go through the challenges that I have gone through. I am not alone.

We have discussed estate planning – basically, deciding what will happen to our wealth when we are gone – in our Centonomy classes. Most people want to leave assets to their children. Some businesses are even built with the hope that the children will take over.

LEARNING APPRECIATION THROUGH STRUGGLE

That’s what Joe’s parents believed. They had worked hard all their lives and they saw no need for Joe to go through the same process. Joe knew he would inherit the family investment portfolio. After finishing university, his parents gave him an apartment to live in. Joe has never experienced what it means to have a landlord expecting monthly rent. It’s no surprise that he has never been able to hold down a job.

Joe is now 40, married, with two children. His children will never lack school fees and his parents’ investment continues to pay his bills. In addition, Joe has a monthly income of Sh400, 000 which he doesn’t have to lift a finger for.

Many aspire to be Joe. It is a comfortable existence, and we have idolised comfort. The more comfort you seem to experience, the more successful you are, according to what many people think. However, Joe has been robbed. No matter how hard his parents worked for what he now has, he will never be able to truly understand and appreciate it.

We make the mistake of thinking that the end result, i.e. having loads of money, is the ultimate reward. However, the true reward is in the struggle. Joe has been robbed of all the gifts that come with the struggle.

He has been robbed of the ambition, motivation and drive. He had not held down a job because it was made clear to him that he does not need to work. His parents set the bar for success and it is so high that he doesn’t need to waste time setting his own.

He has been robbed of the normal but very important journey of appreciating different levels of income and the corresponding effort it takes.

DISCOVERING OUR PURPOSE THROUGH SURVIVAL

As much as we complain about it, survival is a strong motivator. While it does not induce a state euphoria, it builds our character. Wealth creation is about personal growth and character development. It helps you develop focus, persistence, resilience, discipline, relationships and so on. All these are needed to create, and more so sustain, wealth.

Joe has been robbed of the chance to discover what he can be good at, his passion and/or his purpose. Hard work teaches you who you are. You notice what you like or don’t like. You start realising what comes naturally to you. You sense what excites you. You get the amazing opportunity to witness yourself as you push boundaries. You see and exercise faith in action as you go through various circumstances. You experience failure and later on connect the dots.

Joe has been robbed of this.

As much as a person like Joe may look like he is doing well, he is very insecure around people who have had the grand opportunity to put themselves to the test. He envious of their internal sense of confidence earned from battling circumstances and coming out on top.

So, parents, please remember: All of us want the best for our children, but this does not mean removing the struggle from their lives. There is a reason for it. Giving them more material things or handing assets through inheritance doesn’t necessarily make them better off.

No amount of wealth can compensate for the inadequacies he feels now. Do not let the results of your hard work be the source of your children’s disempowerment.