HEART ADVICE: Should I snitch on my friend’s man? - Daily Nation

Should I snitch on my friend’s man?

Saturday September 8 2018

This week’s reader has found herself between her friend and her flirtatious boyfriend.

This week’s reader has found herself between her friend and her flirtatious boyfriend. PHOTO | NATION 

By MAURICE MATHEKA
More by this Author

So, my best friend’s boyfriend recently made a play for me. I was visiting them and it got late, and since I had no car my friend suggested that her boyfriend drop me off.

We were just getting to my house when he said to me that he thought I was very hot, and that if he hadn’t met my friend first he would have made a move on me.

Then he asked me if he could come into my house for a few minutes to ‘make sure I was safely inside’. I declined and told him he was out of order, and he drove away. Now my question is, what do I tell my friend? Is there any way I can continue to watch her be in this relationship with a shameless fraud?

  

READERS’ ADVICE:

The compliment your friend made about you being hot was fine, but trying to make a move on you yet he has a girlfriend who is your friend was out of order, and it's very commendable you declined his request. If your friends are in a stable relationship then you need to make a decision that will uphold your character. You may consider talking with your male friend and let him know that you respect their relationship and therefore you wouldn't want to destroy it by giving in to his demands. In case he keeps pursuing you then you will have to let your female friend know because I believe you don't want to be the source of problems in other people's affair even though you are friends. Juma Felix, via email.

 

Congratulations for not being a fake. You're a friend many women would wish to tag along. About your friend being with a shameless fraud, take your time; don't be too fast to let cats out. Since you love your friend, try to avoid being close to her hubby. Also be careful about men of Team Mafisi Sacco. Don't fall a victim. If the guy nags you, tell him you will tell your friend. Mercy Baiyena, via email.

  

I really commend you for resisting this shameless fraud who wanted to take advantage of you. You stand as a true friend to your friend. Now you are in a dilemma whether to tell her or not. It is important for your friend to know about it but the how is equally important. The biggest problem is whether she will believe you or not. Her reaction may make or break your relationship. Before you tell her, try to know how much she trusts and knows this guy. This will help you understand how to go about it. I suggest you apply wisdom as you help your friend. All the best. John Wambugu, via email.

EXPERT ADVICE
Maurice Matheka, a relationship counsellor answers:
Whether he is a shameless fraud or not, it is not your place to tell your friend. Many women know that their men have flirtatious habits and turn a blind eye to maintain some degree of harmony.

There is also the possibility that you tell her and she breaks it off with him only to later blame you for killing her relationship. It is unfortunate that her man targeted you but if I were you I would refrain from interfering with their relationship dynamic.

Let your girlfriend find out without being told or in case she already knows of his ways, let her be the one to release herself from him.