Q: Please help me. My boyfriend of three years and I just finished our teaching practice. We met in university where we have been studying together.
Now we have been posted to different parts of the country many kilometres away from each other. Both jobs are in the rural areas. Should I abandon this job and join him?
Should we go our separate ways? Should I make him come to me? Should I just admit the relationship is over and we go our separate ways? What should I do?
You've been dating for three years, which is enough time for you to know if what you have is love or a fling; if it's nothing less than love, you should have a talk before calling it quits.
Long distance love at times works so don't give up on your career to pursue love because if either of you abandons your jobs so you can be together, what will happen if by chance that love dies? It will be double tragedy.
My advice is continue working and maybe after sometime you can seek for a transfer to be near your boyfriend. Just keep in touch always to make the long distance relationship work; that way you will kill two birds with one stone i.e keep your job and also your career.
Kelvin Munga, via email.
When a relationship is bound by true love, nothing can separate the hearts of the two lovebirds, not even the distance between them.
Being posted in different towns shouldn't affect your union, rather it should make you stronger. Make time for each other during the holidays or weekends if you can make it.
Engage more in video calls and keep constant communication. Above all, be truthful to each other and sooner or later, your union will gradually grow. If you truly love him, keep him.
Calvin Queens, via email.
Separation in life is a must. One must learn to cope with it even when one is love. You sound so anxious; are you afraid of losing this guy to someone else? You did not tell us if he has already proposed marriage to you. If I was in your shoes, I would go on quietly doing my job, and give my boyfriend to worry about our future together. If he is your man, he will do everything that needs to be done for you two to be together. Destiny cannot be changed; it can only be delayed. Patience is the quality you need now in order to succeed and uphold your dignity.
Achieng Dara, via email.
Maurice Matheka, a relationship counsellor answers:
There are no guarantees in life but you should also not jump the gun with premature assumptions. The two of you should pursue your dreams and stick to your work obligations.
Embark on your careers as you work on making your relationship work despite the distance. Sacrificing for each other will only lead to a degree of resentment, in my opinion, so I highly recommend you desist from that train of thought.
If you both want the relationship you will move mountains but it must be a mutual venture without pressure. You will both be exposed to a variety of social elements that will test your bond but if you both will it to prevail, then your efforts may be fruitful in the long run.