The pain of the past

The nurse rushed into the consultation room, panting. I stood up to respond to her distress.

“Do we allow her in or should she queue like the other patients?” the nurse rattled.

“Who are you talking about?” I asked, walking towards the door to go and see for myself. The nurse however blocked my path and directed me back to my seat.

“She is a big VIP, I think she is a minister or a senator. She has policemen all around her, she wants to see you,” she explained.

The woman was ushered into the consultation room. There was a pleasant scent of perfume all over the place. I noticed a battery of armed cops peeping in as she entered and closed the door behind her.

“Jane is my name, we talked on phone and you gave me appointment to see you today,” she said as I frowned in disbelief. She was not Jane. She had hidden her identity when she called. She was a famous politician. However, we agreed to record her details as Jane for the sake of privacy.

NUMB TO SEX

“My body is totally numb to sex, Doctor, I don’t respond to a man’s touch. I hear people talk of orgasm and I wonder what they mean,” Jane said as she took the patient’s seat. She was 54 years old with three children, and in a stable marriage. Her husband was a businessman.

“We need to unpack what you mean when you say that your body is numb,” I said. She explained that she never had desire for sex. Sexual thoughts did not cross her mind. She could not get aroused sexually. Foreplay was tiring. She had learnt to feign pleasure and so her husband did not know what she was going through.

“But then, don’t you get pain on penetration?” I asked. “Without arousal sex can be dry and painful.” She had learnt to use a lubricant throughout. Further, she had learnt to fake pleasure. That was a behaviour at divergence with healthy sexuality which is supposed to be pleasurable and enjoyable.

I did a medical examination but could not put a finger on a physiological abnormality. I therefore opted to dig deep into her socio-cultural, religious and life experiences. Her problem was definitely a deeply embedded psychological problem resulting from some life experiences.

Jane suddenly went into a fit of emotions, weeping uncontrollably. I had touched a raw nerve.

“I was molested by our priest when I was 12 years old!” she dropped the bombshell. “I have never mentioned this to anyone, not even my parents.” She went ahead to describe graphic details of how the priest tricked her on her way from school, took her to his house and molested her, then warned her not to tell anybody. He then gave her pain killers and told her to feign sickness when she reached home.

DIAGNOSIS AT LAST

We had a diagnosis. A majority of women who were raped or molested early in their lives are known to suffer sexual dysfunctions later in life. The most common is lack of sex desire. In some cases there may be desire for sex but the woman fails to get aroused. Failure to get orgasm is another possible complication.

Jane had taken too long to seek help. She was already in menopause, which complicated issues.

“So is mine a closed case or is there treatment?” Jane asked.

The treatment of psychogenic sexual dysfunction is psychotherapy, also called sex therapy. I prescribed a minimum of 10 sessions which she diligently undertook. By the time she was done, she had experienced orgasm three times.

On her last visit, Jane took time to put on some make-up in the consultation room before walking out to meet her body guards.

“As a public figure people should never imagine that you have deep personal challenges like I have had; they look up to you as a source of strength in difficult times and you cannot afford to disappoint them by showing that you are weak and can also cry.” I nodded reassuringly as she shook my hand and thanked me for my services.