Why won’t he let me show and tell?

Friday June 29 2018

This week’s reader is having a spot of social media problems. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP


I have been dating my man for a year. He refuses to let me post about him on my social media, and now I am wondering if this is a sign that he might be in another relationship? He knows I am very private and I would never post the everyday details of our lives, but a picture here and there should not be a problem, should it? Am I pushing too hard? Should I respect his wishes or should I take this as a clue that something is up?



Everyone has their own take when it comes to PDA. If your man isn't comfortable with you posting photos it doesn't mean he is a cheat. Relationships will always grow with good communication. Talk to him and let him know your take and fears too. Another thing; you're not married to him, you’re just seeing each other. He may have unfinished business.

Mercy Baiyenia, Meru.



You do not need to drag unnecessary inconveniences into your good relationship. When your man told you not to post photos of him on social media, you should have cooperated instead of overthinking. The social media community has nothing positive to add to your love life other than criticism. Consider keeping your relationship private and concentrate on nurturing each other. All you need is a mutual understanding and all will be well. You will be surprised to realise how great it is doing by simply keeping off third parties and their concerns.

Juma Felix, via email.


Respect your man's wishes because he might be among those men who don’t like publicising their personal life. Posting his pictures on social media will not guarantee you his faithfulness.

Dennis Kangwana, via email.


I completely agree with this man; under no circumstances would I agree to my picture being posted on some social media. I don't see how failing to publish the pictures becomes a problem. The lady needs to answer some tough questions. Does she somehow feel inadequate? Does the need to justify herself include posting pictures of her boyfriend? How will posting the pictures improve the quality of the relationship? Will she leave him if he doesn't agree with her? I have nothing to hide and there is no photograph of mine on any social medium, yet I don't feel disadvantaged. Samuel Owiti, via email.


Your boyfriend may be the type that doesn’t want their social life or privacy exposed in social media. On the other hand, he could be dodging. It will be a difficult task to establish the reason behind this. You may do this by posting a photo of you too and see the repurcussions. You could also demand an explanation as to why you shouldn't go ahead and post something on social media. All the best.

Calvin Queens, via email.



Maurice Matheka, a relationship counsellor answers:

Rather than speculate on whether he is in another relationship or not it would be prudent to ask yourself if, within that one year, you have been happy with your man. Everyone is entitled to their privacy and showcasing your man on social media will not make him more or less of a partner. If your man makes you happy then I recommend you concentrate on nurturing your relationship bond and maintaining the parameters that have worked in the last year. Social media in my opinion is a very artificial element which could corrode your relationship so avoid disagreements over such cosmetic issues.



My ex of five years is in love with my best friend and I don’t know how to handle it. She recently confessed to me that they have been seeing each other behind my back for the past six months. I know it has been five years since we broke up, and I have moved on and am now engaged to someone else, but I still feel very angry about it. I don’t want my past playing any part in my present life. My wedding is coming up soon as she is my best maid, but I am afraid she will bring my ex to the wedding. Should I break up with her? Tell her to break up with him? Please advise.