AUNT TRUPHENA: I want to patch things up with my man

Friday December 15 2017

You cannot force someone into your union as it is impossible to love someone who cannot love you back.

You cannot force someone into your union as it is impossible to love someone who cannot love you back. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP 

By AUNT TRUPHENA
More by this Author

Q: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the last six months. A week ago we had an argument and we could not just agree. He became mad at me and walked away. I have tried to call him but he won’t answer my calls. I asked him to forgive me although he has also played his part in the fight. He never said a word. I love him so much; I want to sort our issues as quickly as possible. What do I do. Our problem is that he cannot communicate. Help me out.
 
A: Thank you for your question. As you say, it is true your relationship already has a communication problem.

However, it is important to note that sometimes, some issues need to be communicated at the right time and with the correct approach.

You had a disagreement with your boyfriend and you want to patch things up immediately. He may be genuinely mad at you and I suggest you first give him time and space.

You must know that although you are in a rush, if you try to talk to him too soon, it may just lead to another fight or to more misunderstandings.

Once he is ready, look for a conducive environment and let him know your feelings. Although you mentioned that he misinterpreted what you meant, during this conversation it is crucial you listen to him as he talks.

Once he tells you his part, you can both talk about what happened and work to reach an agreement and to make up. A disagreement between two is better solved after one party is remorseful and asks for forgiveness.

Therefore you must own up to your mistake and request your boyfriend to pardon you. Earlier, you demanded forgiveness and blamed him at the same time but this time, ask for it and give him time.

You can go into it and explain exactly how you feel and why you really messed up, and how much it hurts you to know that you hurt him. It depends on what you feel and what you are willing to feel.

If you succeed in making up with him, then that will mean your relationship has moved to another level. In case he does not, then it is the right time you realise that you cannot force him into your union as it is impossible to love someone who cannot love you back. My best wishes.