How Bahati destroyed his competition

I am going to be honest. I don’t like most of Bahati’s music. You have a better chance of finding Jeff Koinange without hair gel than finding me listening to Baba Heaven’s jams.

He is too whiny and I tend to feel that his holy melodies have try-too-hard vibes.

I only enjoy a few of his songs like “Kumbe Kumbe” and…….ummm. Wait, it’s only that one. Perhaps I love it because it reminds me of the other kumbe kumbe – the meal.

However, I must admit that his decision to start a reality TV series was a stroke of genius. With it, he has completely destroyed his competition – his competition in the Gospel industry and his competition in the celebrity-with-the-best-love-life contest.

FAIRY TALE

All celebrities who like to show off their fairy tale relationships now have nothing on him.

At first I was sceptical. I wasn’t sure his show would be good. I thought it would be bare rock, not gold. It turned out to be several kilogrammes of gold.

Bahati, real name Kevin Kioko, has obviously proved me and many others wrong. Gospel artiste Willy Paul probably wakes up every morning wondering how he is going to match what his rival is doing.

The two are always trying to outdo each other even though they won’t openly admit it. Both of them are usually on the same popularity wavelength but with this move, Bahati has moved ahead of him by a country mile.

It’s not just Willy Paul who has been left in the dust. Dj Mo and Size 8 must be wondering why they never thought about this before Bahati. They are definitely Bahati’s direct competitors when it comes to marriage matters.

They started a series called “The Murayas” but it was only confined to YouTube hence it never reached the masses. They must be regretting not taking it to TV.

It’s easy to see why Bahati’s show has become such a huge success. The reality TV scene is a market with plenty of potential but not many Kenyan television producers have tapped into it.

Before “Being Bahati”, the only other major reality TV show was “Nairobi Diaries”. The latter is a pretty entertaining offering but not everyone is a fan of the R-rated content that it offers. I can confess to being one of its fans. Sometimes it’s amazing and sometimes it is a dismal mess. The cast can be pretty annoying. The creators also keep coming up with the wrong answers to the question: What would “Love & Hip-Hop” do?

ROMANTIC

People love to watch what they can relate to and given that majority of Kenyans don’t engage in 24-hour catfights like the likes of Pendo, the introduction of “Being Bahati” was a welcome relief. It’s a cocktail of celebrity glamour, moral flair and general vibrancy. This has made it this year’s indisputable breakout TV offering. It is something that parents can watch with their children comfortably without saying “Endeni mulale sasa”.

The show has transformed Baba Heaven into the SI unit for romance. Doesn’t he get tired of spoiling his wife? One minute he is buying her a house; the next minute he is taking her to the coast. At this point we should name him Alejandro Juan Pablo Bahati.

Every Sunday evening, he constantly reminds Kenyan women how their own men are useless. The way he keeps serving treat after treat to Diana makes women feel like their men are not doing enough. Some even feel like they are not in the right relationships.

The guy keeps raising standards and it’s not good for us Kenyan men.

Tone it down Bahati. We need to look good too with our cheap Java dates and Sh500 gifts.

If there were ever the Annual Marriage Awards, Bahati would definitely bag 2018’s ‘Husband Of The Year.’

BEING BAHATI

“Being Bahati”, while craggy and somehow familiar, is juicier than it deserves to be thanks to the magnetism of everyone involved.

The scenes are not outstanding. Nonetheless, they always appeal, and they elicit euphoria from the viewers, who take obvious bliss in seeing one of their favourite celebrities just living his life.

The show, obviously, has its obtrusive shortcomings such as spurts of vexatious bragging, below average narrations and ridiculous decisions. The star’s jokes tend to fall flat sometimes too. ‘If you can’t be funny, don’t try’ is a phrase that he might never have been exposed to.

Generally, though, everything flows smoothly. What “Being Bahati” lacks in plot development, it compensates for with emotional collations.

Many people are finding that Bahati the reality TV star is actually very likable compared to Bahati the singer. He is in beast mode when he is just living his life compared to when he is singing. Maybe he should just go the Kim Kardashian way for good right?

Obviously, his hardcore fans would disagree. They want both sides of the ‘Mtoto Wa Mama’ coin. I guess we can work with that. We can do with both sides of the coin so that those who don’t like one side can safely settle for the other.

At this point, it would take something special for anyone else in the gospel industry to topple Bahati. They might outsing him but it would take more to be more popular than him. Let’s see who tries.

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