THE DISH: Getting used to service in America

I can feel myself becoming more and more used to this thing called service in America.

It's remarkable, and I am of the strong opinion that all eating outlets in Kenya should fly all their people to America so that they get the same training, and then they come back.

Or something as close as possible to that.

Do you know when you enter the restaurant, they welcome you? Is it a sign that I am so used to such terrible service that this is something I notice?

They say hi and ask how your day is, and then ask how many are at your table. It's almost like...they're trying to give you good service and get tips so that you come back?

A revolutionary concept. Mind blown.

I also feel myself eating more and more sugar in this America. So this is the thing – there is sugar in everything. Even in the salt. I'm lying. There's no sugar in the salt. But everything has more sugar than normal, like the cereal, and the ice cream – and everything that's bad for you tastes so good and costs oh so little. An example?

The dollar menu at McDonald's, where ALL the burgers on it (about 14) are just A DOLLAR each. I swear spinach costs more. It's too easy!

There's this ice cream joint called Dairy Queen. The chips and burgers are nonsense, but their Blizzard is amazing.

The Blizzard is a type of ice cream that is so thick (like a Blizzard?) that when you turn it upside down, it doesn't mwagika.

The sorcery in this thing amazes me and delights me every time, but at the same time, I'm also wondering what else it is making not move in my stomach...