Boy child education from a male feminist

Ndenderu Primary School pupils recite a poem on boys discrimination potraying the picture of how the society has neglected the boy child. We should be careful not to throw the baby out with the bath water. Advantaging the girl child should not lead us into disadvantaging the boy child. PHOTO | FILE

What you need to know:

  • We are now talking of a nearly fifty-fifty gender ratio of enrolment in our institutions of higher learning. We even had recent reports of female candidates performing better than male ones at national exams, however debatable the statistics.
  • But we should be careful not to throw the baby out with the bath water. Advantaging the girl child should not lead us into disadvantaging the boy child.
  •  In Uganda, our fathers and grandfathers “went to the bush” to fight for liberation. They came out of the bush but the bush never seems to have come out of them. All that they seem to pass on to their sons is: “A man should never beg or say please. What is ‘thank you’ for? If you want something, you just take it, or fight for it.”

I am not changing sides. I am a feminist and I think I will always be. Basically, I believe it is a positive and productive approach to life to try and see things consistently from the woman’s point of view.

In practice, I try and avoid the stereotyping, prejudice, discrimination, oppression and exploitation frequently practised against women in our society. Respecting women and dealing with them consciously on fair, square and equal terms, as with any other human being, is not doing them a favour. It is not a politeness.

Rather, it is a common-sense tactic of survival and development. Reason and experience tell us that there are just as many women talented with intelligence, strength, imagination and creativity as men. Denying such women opportunity and recognition because of primitive preconceptions and “customs” or sheer chauvinistic self-interests is an injustice not only to the women but also to society.

Is this beginning to sound like a sermon? It might well be, because what triggered it was actually an experience I had at church recently. Our faith leaders know how lazy some of us are about carrying our holy books to the services. So, they long ago adopted the practice of printing out the scripture readings of the day in a kind of newsletter available at the church door.

FIFTY-FIFTY

Over the years the rag has grown into quite a substantial publication, comprising not only the said readings but also community news, announcements and even advertisements. A recent addition to the leaflet has been reflective articles on matters both social and spiritual.

The article that particularly pricked my conscience was an anonymous one on the boy child’s “non-education”. Quite a lot of what was written there sounded familiar, revolving around the oft-noted observation that, in our search for gender equity, we might have concentrated so much on the girl child that her brother, the boy child, has been largely neglected.

The battle for gender equity, and especially for female emancipation and empowerment, is far from won and done. But we have come a long way and the gains made so far should be credited to enlightened feminist activism. This consists mainly in articulate exposure and denunciation of the unfairness and injustice in our systems and the formulation and implementation of consistent policies to eradicate them. This is advocacy and activity.

We are now talking of a nearly fifty-fifty gender ratio of enrolment in our institutions of higher learning. We even had recent reports of female candidates performing better than male ones at national exams, however debatable the statistics. These should be causes of satisfaction and encouragement.

But we should be careful not to throw the baby out with the bath water. Advantaging the girl child should not lead us into disadvantaging the boy child. Going down that lane would be retrogressive and, indeed, injurious even to the feminist enterprise. Research findings from places like Great Britain, and I think Kenya, too, suggest that boys in the lower ranks of the school system are feeling increasingly neglected and sidelined because of the teachers’ overconcentration on female learners.

This obviously disillusions them and alienates them from the school system and from society. It affects their aspirations and their performance and their eventual achievements in public and private life.  This is due to their perception that not much is expected of them or from them.

We hinted at this in our discussion of the alcoholic wrecks of Limuru and elsewhere in Central Kenya, whose partners were rioting and demonstrating because of their alleged “non-performance”. While we promote the cause of the girl child, we should, nevertheless, be very careful not to create the problem of the neglected boy child.

We parents and teachers should spearhead the practice of gender equity, benefiting both girls and boys without discrimination. Our language, our notice and acknowledgement of our learners, our assignment of duties and responsibilities, should all be balanced and guided by personal merit.

Even more touching for me in the newsletter article was the observation that matters are even worse for the boy child at the informal education or socialisation level. While girls are often advised on how to sit, dress, talk and take care of their bodies and surroundings, the boy child is largely left to fumble and improvise for himself as he struggles through life.

The only “advice” boys seem to get is of what they should not do. “A man does not cry. A man does not waste time gossiping. A man does not decorate himself like a woman.”

NEVER SAY PLEASE

In Uganda, our fathers and grandfathers “went to the bush” to fight for liberation. They came out of the bush but the bush never seems to have come out of them. All that they seem to pass on to their sons is: “A man should never beg or say please. What is ‘thank you’ for? If you want something, you just take it, or fight for it.” The bush seems to have become hereditary in our boys and men. As one observer put it, we seem to swing between Museveni’s resistance and Besigye’s defiance.

Even what might look like privilege for the boy is, in fact, a denial of life skills. Why should the boy be sent out to play football or roam the mtaa streets while his sister is being shown how to wash the dishes, clean the house and peel matoke? Does he not need these skills just as much as the girl does?

This deficiency is quite noticeable in the lives of our young adults.  On university campuses, where I have spent most of my life, you can clearly see the difference in the standards of neatness in the women’s residences and those of the men. You can guess which are higher, can you not?

Those who are shabby, disorderly and chaotic are not like that because they are incapable of doing better. They just were educationally neglected or deprived, probably because of their gender.