I just got off the phone with my beau and he said he was decluttering.
He has this huge laundry basket that has lots of clothes and he is going to sort through them in three groups: what he will throw away, what he will keep and what he will mend.
I am impressed because I had been having this conversation with him for months, and now he is doing it all by myself. I think this is how parents feel after trying to get their child to do something over and over and they finally do it.
It got me thinking about decluttering my own life in the following areas.
I am a hoarder. I probably learned this from my parents, my mum especially. She keeps everything – from receipts to hair pieces to shoes she cannot wear anymore.
I am more of a sentimental hoarder. I have notes that were scribbled to me in primary school, jewellery from 10 years ago that no longer fit my style, and of course clothes that I am attached to.
My beau understands that his dress sense and my preference are not quite in sync. It goes both ways. I, lauded in my circles for my amazing dress sense, have to make compromises too.
For some women, their clothes are out of bounds. Honestly though if what I am wearing causes us not to enjoy our time together then it’s not worth it. I am not looking to impress anyone aside from him.
Plus, without realising, my fashion choices are leaning towards a more conservative mature style.
Most of us are carrying some sort of baggage, whether we know it or not. I am working on offloading grudges, hang-ups, regrets, just all of it.
I serve no one by walking into this new phase bogged down with all of that mess. For example, I realised the reason why my mother and I have had such a complex relationship is because of something that happened when I was 12. I am almost 30. It’s time to let it go.
I hate that there are opportunities that passed me by because of fear. It’s time to face my fears. I am not a good communicator; I have to intentionally fix that.
Wedding planning reveals your attitudes and habits with money. I have always suspected, but now I know that I am a spendthrift. I have also never lived alone and the bills I have to pay at home are minimal.
I am learning to adjust to my soon-to-be new reality. This year has been such a hard one on me. I have had to live in debt, which I don’t enjoy. But not having ready money all the time has taught me that I don’t need to eat out and buy new clothes and go out for every event.
I have enough and I think I have learned to be content. That is not to say that I will not aspire to more. In fact, as we speak, I am going to schedule a meet with a financial planner so that we know what to prepare for financially as a married couple.
I am one of those people allergic to many foods. I am lactose intolerant, I can’t eat red meat and I am allergic to gluten as well. What this means is that I have had to be more conscious about what I eat. This has also led me to start paying attention to my body more.
I really want to get to a place where I use natural remedies to solve my ailments. I want to learn how to rest. Drinking lots of water and staying active are two goals I struggle with that I want to make my daily routine.
Learning to say NO
I have found myself in very many unnecessary situations simply because I couldn’t say the word ‘no’. I am having to learn to say ‘no’ to many things as the wedding draws nearer.
I am also starting to re-examine the things that are making me unhappy and causing me sleepless nights. These are not things that will benefit me no matter how good it looks on the outside.
My happiness comes first and even if that means disappointing some people, then so be it.