My porn habit is hurting my marriage
A Regular Police officer has committed suicide over his wife’s alleged infidelity, Deputy County Commissioner Jacob Ruto said. PHOTO| FILE|
What you need to know:
You cannot expect to just stop something that you have got used to over the years. Changing your behaviour requires willpower, sacrifice, and a lot of work on your part.
First, think of watching pornography as a bad habit and stop justifying it to yourself. The fact that it is already a threat to your marriage should be enough reason for you to see it as maladaptive behaviour.
Yes, it is not easy but when you overcome the temptation to watch porn, you will stop masturbating. Second, spend time with your wife.
Q I have been married for over five years and my wife and I have a daughter. My marriage seems okay but I harbour a secret that my wife does not know about.
Whenever I am alone in the house, I watch pornography and later masturbate, a habit I formed while in high school. I thought that I would stop after marriage, but I have not.
This has affected our sex life and my wife has even accused me of cheating, though I have never cheated on her. Should I tell her my secret? How can I quit watching porn and masturbating? Please help me!
It is already clear that if you do nothing about these two destructive forces, pornography and masturbation, they will destroy your marriage.
This is a deeply rooted habit since you formed it in high school. It was wrong for you to assume that the habit would stop automatically after you got married.
You cannot expect to just stop something that you have got used to over the years. Changing your behaviour requires willpower, sacrifice, and a lot of work on your part.
First, think of watching pornography as a bad habit and stop justifying it to yourself. The fact that it is already a threat to your marriage should be enough reason for you to see it as maladaptive behaviour.
Yes, it is not easy but when you overcome the temptation to watch porn, you will stop masturbating. Second, spend time with your wife.
Discuss your sexual life with her and come up with ways to rekindle the flame together.
Third, avoid being left alone in the house and keep yourself busy to keep your thoughts away from masturbation. Fourth, get rid of all the porn that you currently have and avoid buying or accessing porn sites and videos.
Fifth, consider discussing this issue with your wife, but use the right approach. Be ready for her reaction and help her deal with it.
Let her know that you have been masturbating, but that you are ready to stop it because you love her and want to save your marriage.
She might help you quit porn by being there for you emotionally and physically. As you plan to quit, remember this is a journey that requires a lot of effort and self-control. If you are having difficulties you may consider visiting a counsellor. I wish you success.
